Weaner-gate
It seems a number of women think that in order to call yourself a lactivist you must practice child-led weaning. Child-led weaning, which differs from baby-led weaning, is when a child continues to nurse for as long the child shows interest. Though some will wean earlier or later, most children wean themselves between their second and fourth year.
The Lactivist recently found herself in trouble when she mentioned that she wanted to wean her 14-month-old son and that the idea of nursing a toddler “weirds her out.” A number of women were outraged that a woman who dares to call herself The Lactivist would use the words “weird” and “breastfeeding” in the same sentence. Many of these women expressed that they were disappointed that someone who calls herself The Lactivist, not a lactivist, would wean a child that wasn’t ready.
I think the whole argument, Weaner-gate, as The Lactivist calls it, is ridiculous. Why can’t a woman who calls herself a lactivist wean her child when she wants to? The AAP recommends exclusively nursing for six months, continued breastfeeding for the first year of life and beyond for as long as mutually desired by mother and child. The Lactivist’s son is 14-months-old. How is that not setting a good example? Why can’t she support child-led weaning without actually practicing it? I’m a pro-choice advocate yet I’ve never had an abortion. Does that make my support for a woman’s right to choose any less real? My husband is a breastfeeding advocate yet he’s unable to actually breastfeed. Does that make his support any less real?
Breastfeeding is an amazing, important thing, and I think all women who give birth should try it. I don’t just think they should try it, I think they have a responsibility to try it, it’s just that important. But I don’t think any woman should be forced to continue a breastfeeding relationship for any longer than she wants to.
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November 26th, 2007 at 2:03 pm
I agree completely. My husband is also a breastfeeding supporter. I’m currently tandem nursing my 2 year old and 4 month old, and he has been my biggest supporter. However, he will never nurse a child. That doesn’t mean that his support isn’t genuine or important. I am a huge supporter of a family’s decision to co-sleep. Do I co-sleep? Nope. I can definitely support something I don’t do.
November 27th, 2007 at 7:25 pm
I’m saddened that someone as involved in breastfeeding as the lactivist is is weirded out by toddler nursing. Certainly I think she should wean when she wants to but her attitude says a lot about how uncomfortable our culture is with the biological norm of toddler nursing and is unfortunate.
January 17th, 2008 at 4:41 pm
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