Nursing Your Kids

After five days Operation Nap is officially over. I’d rather waste money on gas, pollute the environment and kill an hour of my day driving aimlessly than deal with the tears, screams, and misery of trying to make him nap indoors. If Bob can do it when he’s home I’m all for it, but I am too tired and (and my nipples are entirely too sensitive) to make the transition by myself.

Yesterday since it was nice out and we’d walked to a friends house to play I was hoping he’d fall asleep in the stroller. He was so furious about having to sit in the stroller that he screamed almost the entire way home. I asked if he wanted to nap in the car or in his bed. He said stroller. We walked a bit more but he kept screaming so we went home and rocked for a while. I won’t get into the play by play because it’s pretty much a repeat of the previous day’s performance. After an hour I decided to just let him watch “baby farm” a Baby Einstein animal video he’s become obsessed with the past few weeks.

Usually he’s miserable by the end of the day when he hasn’t had a nap and yesterday was no different. He was so out of control by bedtime we skipped his bath entirely. When I say out of control, I mean out of control. He was stiff and fighting and screaming and hurting himself in the process. Though I’ve seen him in similar states (on nap-free days, of course) Bob had never seen him have a tantrum like that. At 7.20 Bob said that he was so tired he’d be asleep in no time. I said that I’d be shocked if he was asleep by 8.30.

Eventually we wrestled him into his pajamas and sleep sack and got him to sit still for a story. Bob planned on putting him to bed, but he clearly wanted me and in his state I was afraid he’d never fall asleep if I left. He tossed and turned and cried and didn’t want me to touch him but didn’t want me to leave either. Not knowing what to do I asked if he wanted to nurse. He practically cried with relief at the suggestion, but as I unhooked my nursing bra he got angry again and started wailing, “uh-uh. Other side, other side. Uh-uh.” I knew it was a bad sign, but I let him nurse anyway.

He relaxed and his breathing got heavier and deeper. I moved him off of my lap and into bed as he nursed. After three or four minutes he loosened his latch. I thought he’d fallen asleep and was just letting go. Instead he clamped down on the protruding part of my nipple and refused to let go. I roughly shoved my fingers into his mouth, got him off of me, and left his room. I wanted to slam his door and shout, but I managed to contain my pain and rage and just walked into the other room instead. Bob went him and eventually got him to stop crying and go to sleep. He tried to leave the room, but Sam woke up crying so he stayed a bit longer, falling asleep himself. He emerged from Sam’s room, blinking in the light, around 10. I heard Sam wake and cry several times throughout the night, but he fell back to sleep on his own each time. It’s a good thing, because I wasn’t going in there.

Today Sam is going to nap in the car.