Nursing Your Kids

When I was pregnant with Sam I joined a message board for expectant mothers and I’ve been annoyed ever since. While I’m sure some of the women on the message board are reasonable human beings they just don’t come across as reasonable online.

The argument that irritated me today came in a thread where a woman new to the board and expecting a second child asked for opinions concerning breastfeeding. She did not go into detail but she said she was unable to breastfeed her first child and despite her knowledge of the benefits was considering not even trying to breastfeed the second. She asked the women on the board for feedback.

Four or five posters told her she shouldn’t worry what other people thought and if she wanted to formula feed she should. Some of the women specified that they thought breastfeeding was best, but that it was her decision and no one else’s business. One woman said she was physically able to breastfeed but just didn’t want to. I wasn’t crazy about that response, but since she wasn’t looking for feedback I wasn’t going to give it.

Another poster wrote that she tried to nurse her son and couldn’t. She beat herself up over it until she realized he’s never had an ear infection. She then told the original poster not to listen to crazies who tell her she’s wrong for not breastfeeding.

I wanted to respond to the original poster, but couldn’t let that comment go. Here’s my response:

I think that the decision to breastfeed is a personal choice. Women choose not to breastfeed for many reasons, all of them valid. However, I think the use of the word “crazies” to describe breastfeeding advocates is offensive. While I know you specifically said “crazies who try to tell you you’re wrong,” in my experience the only ones who try to persuade someone to breastfeed are those who truly believe it’s the best thing possible. Does that make them crazy? Intrusive, sure. Rude, absolutely. But crazy?

Breast is best and it’s proven in study after study. I don’t believe that formula is harmful, nor do I believe that it’s any of my business how a mother chooses to feed her baby.

I plan on summarizing the rest of the thread tomorrow, but before I do I’d like to know if you think my comment makes me sound angry.