Nursing Your Kids

GAWD. I’m already tired of me. I guess I thought I was more interesting or something………….

Picture Contest
Crunchy Domestic Goddess is having a photo contest! Submit your favorite breastfeeding pic by July 15th and be eligible to win a prize - check out the details here.

Pacifiers
When my son was born, I had it all planned. We’d use a pacifier for the 1st few months, then he could suck his thumb if he wanted. After all, this strategy had worked swell for my sister - why not me? What I didn’t count on was the fact that my son would rather not suck on a hunk of plastic. He’d rather suck on me. And I didn’t mind. We were co-sleeping anyway and whatever garnered us the most amount of sleep was the Official Plan going forward. The end.

Yeah, RIGHT. Okay, it wasn’t actually THAT easy. He took a pacifier for the first few days, then I got paranoid about Nipple Confusion and took them away to wait for the recommended 3 weeks. THEN, he wouldn’t take pacifier any longer and THEN, I went through a lot of pacifiers trying to find the One that would win over my son’s heart. It was very hard to put him down for naps because he didn’t have any mechanisms for self-comfort. Sure, he’d co-sleep at NIGHT, but naptime he wouldn’t sleep with me, despite my best efforts. So, the first 10 months were HARD - nighttime sleep was a breeze, but naps were killing me. KILLING…. ME……. And not softly, either. I may have spent most nights sleeping peacefully, but the afternoons found me sobbing on my couch, stuffing my face with Choxie chocolates and lamenting my woes to my sister.

However.

The advantage is that my son DID eventually find ways to self-soothe. And we’ve never had to deal with weaning him for a pacifier or a thumb. Which leads me to think that I probably won’t even try the pacifier with my daughter. Why bother if I can just suck it up?

Of course, I say that NOW.

breastfeeding, pacifier

Angela over at Breastfeeding 1-2-3 posted some excellent information on exactly how breastfeeding can benefit employers - for example, her site reveals:

CIGNA’s corporate lactation program for employees who breastfeed, revealed a savings of $240 thousand annually in health care expenses for breastfeeding mothers and their children.

This information is based on an UCLA Study of the CIGNA corporate lactation program. Good reading! I love seeing cold, hard figures associated with something like this!

I wonder why employers aren’t more invested in supporting their new mothers? I suspect there may be a bit of an attitude amongst employers that employees aren’t going to stick around for the long-term, anyway. Particularly, with the way many folks go from job to job more easily these days (no judging! I was one of those employees who didn’t hesitate to take better opportunities!) This is definitely the attitude with insurance companies, which is why they don’t support preventative measures as often as you would think - their reasoning is that by the time something serious comes along, you won’t be on their plan any longer anyway. Maybe it would help to clarify the short-term benefits of breastfeeding to employers? They get to see the benefits straight away!

breastfeeding, breastfeeding in the workplace

Before I begin, let me state emphatically that I love and adore the site Ask Moxie. It’s an awesome site chock full of sane, realistic parenting advice - all new mothers should read every single post of Moxie’s about infant sleep habits (I have this one bookmarked at all times for easy reference - I wish I would have had this with my firstborn from the beginning). What attracts me most to her site is that hands down, Moxie has one of the greatest core of commenters out there. This is a site where I almost always take the time to read the comments if the topic applies to me.

Recently, two posts on her site have really got me thinking. I was really disappointed not in the posts themselves, but rather in some of the commenting going on. I am curious what all of you have to say.

In the first post, Are You Breastfeeding? a reader asks if he was wrong in asking a neighbor if she was breastfeeding her newborn. Another neighbor overheard the question and said “Your wife can ask that question but you as a man cannot.”

In the second post, “Are You Breastfeeding?” Response, Moxie follows up with some clearing up of the context of the question and asks if the previous commenters would change their answer. It turns out the guy knew the neighbor fairly well and had children himself. His breastfeeding question was posed more in a “commiserating” sort of tone.

What made me sad about many of the comments stating that “No, it’s over the line to ask a new mother if she is breastfeeding” is that the comments ranged from Squeamish to Guilty. Here is my own comment to the second post:

I didn’t get an answer in the first time because frankly, I had to “walk away” and think for awhile. Many of the comments just made me downright sad. Particularly, the ones that fell into the Squeamish or Guilt category.

There were many commenters who said they felt guilty for not being able to breastfeed and that’s why the question bothered them. Then, there were many other commenters who were clearly skeeved by the idea of a man even asking about it.

Breastfeeding is only one of many questions that folks ask about new babies - I get all sorts of questions regarding diapers (cloth/disposable), sleeping (crib/co-sleeping), etc. Yes, many of these questions are tinged with Potential Judgment, but that’s LIFE. There will always, always be someone lurking inthe corner waiting to point fingers and Judge.

Anyway, as a 37 week pregnant gal who will be breastfeeding again in a few weeks, my answer doesn’t need context - I totally welcome any and all questions regarding breastfeeding. Until folks get more comfortable with the whole concept of a “baby sucking at one’s breasts” we are going to continue reading news story after news story of women being kicked off of planes, asked to leave restaurants, kicked out of parks, pools and other public venues all because folks aren’t “comfortable” with it. Again, not angry. Just sad. Very, very sad.

I think what is most disturbing is that it is very easy to dismiss most of the “anti-breastfeeding” commenters on other sites who are clearly uneducated and ignorant - I’m still shaking my head over the comments about Maggie Gyllenhaal and the mother in the Boca Raton restaurant. However, Moxie’s site is different - these folks are clearly reasonable people and the overall tone of her site is moderation. In my experience, these are the normal folks we are encountering every day. Maybe it’s the pregnancy hormones talkin’ and perhaps, I am over-reacting (something my husband can attest I am wont to do), but seriously.

Is asking a new mother if she is breastfeeding really out of line?

I posted awhile back about my calling Gerber for free product samples (it was advertised on their website). Not sure what to think because all I’ve received thus far are some lousy coupons. That’s IT. Also, I noticed on the soothing gel pads I purchased that each pad is only good for FOUR hours - I did some comparison with the Playtex gels pads and they also only last four hours. Conversely, Soothies gel pads are good several DAYS (I could push them easily to 4-5 if I took care of them). Therefore, I don’t think Gerber is going to be the money-saver I thought they would be. The breakdown, price-wise on the gel pads is this:
Gerber - 8 for 12.49
Playtex - 6 for 9.99
Soothies - 2 for 11.95

I am hesitant to plunk down any more money to get the Playtex as well - I am debating this. I will definitely be purchasing some Soothies and will definitely report back on product comparisons.

Again, let me stress - gels pad and lanolin are an “either/or” situation. You do NOT use them together. For me, the lanolin cream did NOT work, but the gel pads were a Godsend sent directly from His Truly from Above (or alternatively, my cousin, a lactation consultant. Your choice). I would recommend that any new mother not run out and stock up on supplies. Instead, I suggest using the free samples of lanolin the hospital will surely pass along and buying only one set of gels pads to start off with. Then, you can figure out what works for you before you go plunking down your kid’s college fund.

Sidenote: If you don’t end up using your lanolin cream, save the sample tubes! They can be used for convenient travel-sized tubes of diaper rash cream. Obviously, lanolin cream is WAY to expensive to use all the time for diaper rash, but it was so convenient to just tuck a small tube in my carry-on when you’re out and about.

Bravado Nursing Bras
I received an email about Bravado Designs for a 15% coupon. In short, enter the coupon code SUMMER15%-123 when checking out. It ends June 30th and I am definitely planning on using it. When I was pregnant with my son, I did the rounds at Target, Wal-Mart and Motherhood Maternity - I did buy bras at all 3 places in an effort to “save money”. Ha. Frankly, I was disappointed in all 3 places - particularly, Motherhood Maternity who gave me incorrect advice. After my son was born, I went to the Mommy and Me store at a local hospital here and had a lactation consultant help me find new bras. I got one Leading Lady bra and two Bravado bras. I LOVE the Bravado bras and decided to go ahead and get a few more. 3 bras are probably just not enough now since I probably am not going to have time to do laundry as frequently as I did with my son.

Mama Wrappings
A blog I read has just opened an Etsy store selling breastfeeding-related gift bags - the store is called Mama Wrappings. What a sweet way to give a gift that doesn’t include the ubiquitous bottle symbol. Nah, I didn’t mind receiving gifts decorated with bottles, but it always struck me as odd since I knew I would be going the breastfeeding route.

Close 2 U, Baby
Another blog I read (and fellow BlogHer 06 attendee, I’ve actually met her!) has an Etsy store called Close 2 U, Baby selling baby slings, pouch slings, boppy covers and even accoutrements for dolls such as slings and quilts. Honestly, slings just did not work for my son. I had borrowed one from a friend, but quite simply, Arun was a “shoulder and chest” baby and did NOT like to be held in the cradle position. He always wanted to be upright so he could see the world. Therefore, the Bjorn worked best for us - I got many, many miles out the Bjorn. However, every baby is different and if my daughter is a Sling Baby, I will definitely be checking out Close 2 U, Baby.

What does co-sleeping have to do with breastfeeding? Frankly, co-sleeping can make breastfeeding easier. When you co-sleep, instead of having to get up, muddle around in the dark while fumbling for your newborn, all you have to do is roll over, nurse, then roll back over and go back to sleep. That’s it. Seriously. After awhile, you’ll actually sleep while nursing. Oh sure, you might have to do a diaper change in the wee, early weeks, but as times goes on, you don’t even have to bother with that.

Truthfully, I was going to do loads of research for this one. I was going to present a compelling argumentative dictate replete with propositions, negatives and affirmatives. Then, my inner collective got all whiny on me and said “But, I don’t wannna!”, so I decided to go Commando on this. What follows is merely my opinion and in addition, I’ve added a new category called “Ranty Pants”. I’m not an expert, nor do I play one online. What prompted all this is that I came across another poorly written article that slams co-sleeping.

Okay, I’m not a co-sleeping advocate, but rather, I am a huge, colossal believer in that Good Parenting consists of gathering as many ideas as possible, then trying them out in different combinations until you find out what works for you, your partner, your child, your lifestyle. This concept of Ideas hit me like a nuclear bomb very, very early in my new life as a mother. While pregnant, I had everything planned out. Dude, I even had TIMELINES for some things. Then my son was born and I realized very quickly that babies aren’t necessarily One Size Fits All. I had it all planned out that my son would sleep in the bassinet by our bed for the first 4 months, then he would transition to the crib. End of story, right? What I didn’t count on was a baby who wanted to be near me ALL OF THE TIME. Crazy boy! What was he thinking? I’d already housed him for over 9 months and now this?

Fortunately, my doctor has a crunchity heart of Granola and even told me in the hospital that “We Westerners are the weird ones - the rest of the world is co-sleeping“. Furthermore, my husband is from India, a land chock full of co-sleepers. My husband was the one who insisted with exasperation “just bring him to bed already.” Folks, that exasperation was directed towards me and I will forever be grateful that I married someone who parents by instinct and not by books. Once I embraced co-sleeping, all was right with our world. It made breastfeeding SO MUCH easier, it eased my worries as a new mother (there was no getting up in the middle of the night to check his breathing) and we both slept peacefully. Once, I got the knack for breastfeeding while lying down, I was rarely sleep-deprived (this was at about 3 weeks or so). Not being sleep-deprived went a long, long way towards my mental health, folks. Furthermore, my son has always been a hard, solid sleeper at night - even when he transitioned to the crib (naps are another issue entirely and still are to this day. I spent a lot of afternoons crying, eating chocolate the first 6 months of his life). The transition to the crib happened gradually and wasn’t necessarily planned, either. I eventually got him to nap in there, then I started putting him in there at the beginning of the night, then one evening when he was around 13 months old, I woke up at 5am to realize he hadn’t woken up yet (yes, I thought he was dead, snuck in his room and promptly woke him up). Once in awhile, he still co-sleeps if he is sick or out of sorts (think Christmas Mayhem). Because of our experiences with our son, we’ve already decided to just play it by ear with our daughter. We’ll go the co-sleeping route with her and if it doesn’t work out, only then will we plunk down the dineros to buy a crib.

Listen. Co-sleeping is not for everyone. It just so happened that I am the sort of sleeper who didn’t mind having a baby in bed with me. For many months, I had to end my nights early and go to bed with him - I would read in bed while he slept. It worked for both of us and yes, sometimes it sucked going to bed by 8:30pm, but the advantage was that I didn’t have to give up my beloved books, either. I was probably one of the best-read new mothers going around. Besides, it also follows my Idea of Parenting that most things in life are temporary - I knew I wouldn’t always be going to bed by 9pm.

Okay, so I am not a huge co-sleeping advocate who thinks everyone should be co-sleeping. What really, really ticks me off about such articles as the one I just linked to is the fact that often, they use unfair scare tactics. And who is more scared than a new mother?????? Many articles will lump all sorts of infant deaths together which can lead one to believe that by merely co-sleeping, you are putting your child at risk. For example, the article states:

……of the 30 infant deaths in 2006 and the first months of 2007, twenty were caused by “co-sleeping” with adults or in other unsafe sleeping environments.

You have to read carefully to get the point that OTHER unsafe sleeping environments were in play as well. Why did they have to lump it all together? If I hadn’t been too lazy to type in tons more HREF code, I could show you many more articles that do the same thing.

Okay, without a doubt, if you have a drug or alcohol problem you should NOT co-sleep with your baby. If you are obese, you should NOT co-sleep with your baby. If your bed is super, squishy soft and loaded with comforters and pillows and is situated so high off the ground that a Princess could sleep there (Pea or No Pea), then yes, you probably should NOT co-sleep with your baby. However, I think it’s wrong that these articles use such scare tactics that could frighten new parents away from what could be a perfectly viable arrangement for them. If they are going to list “co-sleeping” as a cause of infant death, I think they should list the particulars that went along with the co-sleeping. Frankly, my husband was in disbelief the first time I asked if he had ever heard of a baby being rolled over onto by his parents. Disbelief. I think he used the words “that’s crazy”. Again, I’m not here to push a co-sleeping agenda, but I would encourage new mothers to not be afraid of including it in their big bag of Ideas.

I have to admit, I am weary of reporting the news. And it’s weird to be writing a breastfeeding blog when I am not quite breastfeeding yet. Then, I came across this article about formula companies promoting their products in the Philippines and I perked up. Sort of. Not really. The article points out that

“just 16% of children between four and five months old are exclusively breastfed. This is one of the lowest documented rates on earth, and it has fallen by a third since 1998. As 70% of Filipinos have inadequate access to clean water, the result is a public health disaster. Every year, according to the World Health Organization, some 16,000 Filipino children die as a result of “inappropriate feeding practices.”

The article goes on to pinpoint some of the marketing tactics conducted by the formula companies and then goes on to say this:

“The U.S. embassy and the U.S. regional trade representative started lobbying the Philippines government. Then the chief executive of the U.S. Chamber of Commerce in Washington, D.C. - which represents 3 million businesses - wrote a letter to the president of the Philippines, Gloria Arroyo. The new rules, he claimed, would have “unintended negative consequences for investors’ confidence”. The country’s reputation “as a stable and viable destination for investment is at risk”. Four days later, the supreme court reversed its decision and imposed the restraining order PHAP had requested. It remains in force today. The government is currently unable to prevent companies from breaking the international code.”

The article horrified and left me slightly depressed. I try SO hard to be open about formula and to not be judgmental. Then, I see companies pushing formula in countries where much of the population doesn’t even have consistent access to a safe water supply. Frankly, my Pollyanna Veneer is wearing thin the more and more I see these sorts of articles. Of course, it’s not unusual for Western companies to move their marketing tactics to developing nations when their Western consumers smarten up (Totally Tangential: Cigarette and cosmetic companies come to mind. Unilever, the maker of Dove products, has made a killing with their “real beauty” campaign in the US, yet they market skin lightening creams in India and South East Asia. Apparently, “real beauty” is defined as “white skin”.) And yes — the irony, of course, is that a group of breastfeeding mothers just recently broke the Guinness World Record for simultaneous breastfeeding.

Then, THEN, I read this bit about CORN SYRUP in formula. What the HELL? I received some free cans of formula when my son was born and I shoved them into a cabinet - I had intentions of donating them, but got lazy. I pulled them down this morning and started reading the ingredients:
1. The can of Enfamil milk-based formula has lactose listed as the 2nd ingredient, followed by a myriad of unpronounceable items including palm and coconut oils.
2. The can of Similac soy formula has corn syrup solids listed as the FIRST ingredient and also includes palm and coconut oils.
3. The can of Similac milk-based formula also has lactose listed as the 2nd ingredient, followed by a myriad of unpronounceable items including palm and coconut oils

Okay. I am not a health nut. And with this pregnancy, we’ve eaten far too much fast food because I’m just trying to get by - my end date for what I refer to as “Meals of Shame” is August 1, 2007 (I just want to get through the pregnancy and the first month of breastfeeding/sleep deprivation). However, when I shop at the grocery store, I’m fairly persnickety about reading labels and do try to avoid the bad oils (anything hydrogenated and most definitely palm and coconut) in addition to the corn syrup. Frankly, there’s some crapola in those cans of formula that I wouldn’t feel good about my toddler consuming, much less my newborn. And no, this isn’t about judging parents. This is about judging the formula companies who are obviously putting these powders together to achieve as long as a shelf life as possible. The expiration dates of the Similac cans are early 2008 and the Enfamil expires this summer — yet I received these cans in October of 2005. The corn syrup solids are particularly worrisome in light of all the research that shows corn syrup can mess with your metabolism.

At this point, I am at a loss for words for any sort of conclusion.

Updated to Add: Eek. In my rush to get this out, I realize I didn’t really emphasize what I was getting at. I do think the lists can be helpful when there is a problem with a fussy baby and that yes, the lists can assist a mother in narrowing down what the problems might be in her diet. I just hate it when they make it sound like ALL babies are bothered by spicy foods, etc. And for sure, I have yet to see a list include Greek food or gyros which most definitely made my kid squirmy all night long, although I confess, I still partook in a yummy gryros every now and then. Gulp.

When I was in the hospital with Arun, I starved. The hospital food wasn’t bad per se, but it mostly consisted of a piece of meat, a potato, some sort of boiled side veggie and it certainly wasn’t spicy. It didn’t help that I was there for such a short time that by the time I filled out the “menu” card and it got processed, it was time for me to leave anyway. For whatever Fool Head Reason, I turned down all of my husband’s kind offers for bringing me food - a mistake I will NOT be repeating the next time around, believeyoume. The day I went home with our son, I craved something spicy so bad it physically hurt and we picked up some Thai takeout on our way home. Sure, I saw a brief question mark hovering over that Styrofoam takeout container because all the Wise Baby Tomes tell you to avoid spicy food while breastfeeding. However, I quickly brought myself back to reality as I pondered, “What the hell do women eat in Thailand?”, then I promptly dug in and stuffed myself to the gills. And that, my friends, set the standard for what I ate while my son was breastfeeding. If something obviously bothered him, I cut it from the menu - otherwise, it stayed. We cook mostly South Indian at home and primarily other varieties of ethnic when we go out. Sure, we do pizza and some other “American” standards, but primarily, we eat exotic. Which probably explains why my 19 month old is pretty damned close to our level of spicy eating and doesn’t even flinch when presented with a jalapeño on a sandwich.

Regarding “foods to avoid while breastfeeding”, I found this article interesting. Actually, I find most of these types of articles chuckle-worthy because often they are presented as a “complete list”. Furthermore, I’ve seen loads of new moms take them to heart and then kick it up a notch- I knew a gal who didn’t eat peanuts the entire time she breastfed because if her son got a peanut allergy, “she would never forgive herself”. I’m definitely not saying the lists aren’t helpful, but I think they should be presented as a ” keep in mind” sort of thing.

As it turned out, my son was most bothered by milk, soft cheeses and Greek gryo meat (Bonus Sidenote: It’s properly pronounced “yee-ro“). Oh and these days, he calls Pad Thai noodles “pye-pye” and weeps when I put them in the microwave for reheating. Poetic.

I’ve received my first question! Since I don’t consider myself a breastfeeding expert by any means, I hadn’t really anticipated doing an “advice/answer” section to this site. However, I absolutely welcome questions and will gladly do all the “hoofing around” to get the answer for you. When answers come from a specific source, site or book, I will definitely reference them. When answers emerge from my own personal gray matter, I will certainly make that clear as well by starting off with a trusty “IMHO” (roughly translated as “in my humble opinion” – which truthfully, isn’t all that humble as I am pretty opinionated.)

Alicia asks:
If a mother is pumping primarily to increase her supply, why does she need to wait an hour after her baby has nursed? Wouldn’t it be better to just pump immediately after the baby has breastfed? If you pump right after nursing would your body make more per nursing session or if you were to pump an hour afterwards would your body make more overall?

My Answer:
Great question! I quickly discovered the advice concerning the whole “pumping to increase your supply” issue garners a wide variety of answers which can be very confusing. First, I thought it was interesting to understand how milk is produced and Kelly Mom provides a great explanation of the process. Kelly Mom goes on to recommend that in order to increase production, the mother needs to nurse more frequently AND she should empty the breast as thoroughly as possible. Kelly Mom suggests waiting awhile after the nursing session before pumping and frankly, most of the sites I came across recommended this as well. That’s the answer, right? Ha. I went on searching and found TONS more answers. The Nursing Mom site said “You can also try pumping after you nurse to increase milk supply” which I found to be pretty vague and it didn’t give a specific timeline. Also, the Health Touch site said “……Pump for 10 minutes right after you finish breastfeeding once you have a let-down…….“. I also found the Breastfeed-Essentials site which said “You also may want to add a few extra minutes (5-10) of pumping after the baby has finished nursing.”

Frankly, it seems that a mother would need to experiment a little to find the best pumping scenario for increasing her supply - the best scenario for her, that is.

As much as the next person, I love, LOVE investing in pretty, smelly bottles of overpriced crèmes, lotions and “remedies” for any perceived ailment I might have. (Currently, I am going through a “bodywash” phase and have a variety of them in my shower. They represent a United Nations of Prices ranging from Philosophy to Neutrogena to Evelyn/Crabtree to a Target store brand. Gulp.)

Anyway, one of the very first things I learned in breastfeeding is that it pays to experiment. Lanolin crème is pushed onto all new mothers and like the sheep I am, I dutifully applied it. Unfortunately, it did not help me in the least. Fortunately, I had my secret weapon in that one of my cousins is a lactation consultant. For my baby shower, she had given me a “breastfeeding care package” loaded with all sorts of goodies. I vaguely remembered seeing a package of Soothies, and tossing them aside with casual interest because I didn’t know what they were for. A week into Breastfeeding Hell, I was digging through the care package looking for something. I came across the Soothies, read the description and a light bulb came on. I slapped those suckers on and never looked back. In short, Soothies saved me, whereas lanolin provided little relief. The secret to the Soothies and lanolin concept is that this is an Either/Or situation. You do NOT use them together - you have to make a choice and go with one OR the other. All was not lost, though, in the realm of All Things Lanolin. For the first several weeks when taking a shower, I did use the Cetaphil Gentle Cleanser, which is lanolin based, on my chest area to minimize exposure to fragrance or anything that might be irritating.

In the vein of “alternatives”, I did read with interest this study in the International Breastfeeding Journal of using peppermint water in lieu of expressed breast milk to help prevent nipple cracking (peppermint water is used by breastfeeding mothers in Iran). Normally, peppermint is associated with being an irritant if applied topically, so I was curious about this. I will definitely keep an eye out for more results on this.

(Totally Tangential: All the free samples of lanolin crème I received did not go to waste – lanolin is an EXCELLENT diaper rash prevention. I used the tubes for travel sizes for my diaper bag. Unfortunately, lanolin is WAY too expensive to actually purchase for regular use. While I’m on topic, Cetaphil Gentle Cleanser is another great diaper rash prevention. A tip I received from my sister, she recommended putting it on after each diaper change. No, you don’t rinse it, you leave it on and it forms a thin, non-greasy, non-smelly protective layer. I’ve used it on my son since he was born with excellent results.)

I mentioned I would talk about age limits for breastfeeding. However, I should really start in the beginning…….

Back in my days of Armchair Parenting, I believed a child should be weaned at 12 months. Sharp. Then, I had a baby of my own and learned that babies need high fat in their diets until the age of 24 months since it’s crucial for brain development - specifically, they need essential fatty acids, which cow’s milk is low in. Okay. I was cool with that and decided that if Arun wanted to nurse until 2 years old, that was fine by me. Then, I found out I was pregnant shortly after Arun turned 12 months. I knew that I didn’t want to tandem nurse, so I decided that Arun would need to be weaned by 18 months. As I’ve already discussed, he ended up weaning himself by 15 months (not to belabor the point, but now we do a variety of nuts, flaxseed, and fish to help with his essential fatty acid intake. We aren’t anti-milk by any means (I LOVE milk! YUM!), but cow’s milk was made for a CALF’S brain.) Okay. The end. Right? Not really, because I have baby #2 on the way. And I will approach weaning in the same manner - I’d like to nurse her until 24 months if she’s down with that, but if not, I am not going to push breastfeeding on her when there are other great options for essential fatty acids.

So. Age limits. I am not comfortable with children nursing past the age of 2. I never was and still am not. However, until I had a child of my own, I couldn’t really explain why I was awkward with it - I couldn’t quite put it in definable words. There has been talk in the comments here about the “over-sexualization of the female breast” in our culture. I would agree with that sentiment. But that over-sexualization is based on something that has been in existence since the beginning of man. Modern culture didn’t invent that concept but rather exploited it. The female breast is a source of pleasure and desire for both men and women - that’s undeniable. And that role of the female breast in sexual pleasure plays itself out for the greater part of most women’s lives. In truth, breastfeeding constitutes a very small part of most women’s lifespans even when you figure out a max of 2 years per child.

I would expect that the female breast will play a part in both of my children’s sexual futures. Therefore, quite simply, I do not want them to remember suckling at mine. When they are adults, I want their experiences with the female to be fresh. So while I really don’t care if others nurse their children way beyond the age of 2, I will never be comfortable with it.