Nursing Your Kids

I am so angry about this I’m writing about it here and on my personal blog so this will be a reread if you read both.

Since she’s here she decided to take the 2 year-old, by bus, to the Franklin Institute to see some train exhibit and go out to lunch. She imagined it being some special grandmother/grandson field trip with lots of food she imagines I won’t allow him to eat and lots of toys she knows I won’t buy him in the overpriced gift shop.

Today was the big day. I never psych him up for things in advance because disappointment is huge and loud when you’re 2 1/2 so I didn’t even tell him until this morning. Then she called at 9 and said that there was no train exhibit. It’s only there for the holiday. Instead of taking him out she wanted to come here and just babysit him instead.

I said absolutely not and went to the Franklin Institute website. I don’t know what special train exhibit she was talking about but the train I remember from when I was there as a kid is still there. She probably just didn’t feel like going. Even though it is a huge pain in the ass for me to pack both kids into the car in the rain, drive to my mom’s, drive back here, go back to her place to pick him up, and head all the way out to Conshohocken to my cousin’s at the start of rush hour, I told her that she should take him anyway.

I said he was eating breakfast and the baby was napping so we’d probably leave within the hour. It was about 9. 15 at the time. I got him to her place by 10.30. I handed my mother a small bag that she can fit in her purse with a few disposable diapers (since I know she doesn’t know what to do with the cloth), some wipes, a small snack and a sippy cup. She looked at the bag and told me that she was just going to leave it at the front desk and get it when they return from the museum. I wanted to grab her and smack her, but instead I explained that he’s not potty trained, not by any stretch of the imagination. If he took a crap in his diaper he would have to stand in it while waiting for the bus then sit in it on the bus home. I told her that she has to take the diapers and the wipes and the cup and the snack. Then I left hoping for the best.

I didn’t hear from her again until 2. She called and told me that they were back, he was resting on her couch watching TV and that I should come pick him up. The baby was napping and I had no intention of waking him so I waited until he was awake, fed and changed and got into the car. She called again at 3 to ask where I was and I told her I’d be there in 5 minutes. When I got there they were waiting in the lobby. He was happy to see me and thrilled about the new trains she bought him at the museum. She told me they had a great time. They took the bus there, a cab back (no car seat!), and she changed his diaper.

On our drive to my cousin’s I asked him about his day. He didn’t have much to say about it but told me about the new toys she bought him. I asked him what they ate for lunch. He told me he saw candy. I pressed further- did you eat any candy. No, he just saw it. It was red and green and white. I asked if he ate french fries. No. Grilled cheese. No. Pizza. No. Pretzels. No. At this point I started to panic. It was 3.30. I’d dropped him off five hours ago. She told me she was going to take him out for lunch but when she described the day when I picked him up there was no mention of lunch. Could it be possible? I called.

I asked her where she took him for lunch. She told me she didn’t. I asked her what she fed him. She told me she didn’t. He wasn’t hungry. He wasn’t hungry! I said okay and hung up before my head exploded.

She had my son, my 2 1/2 year-old underweight son, her grandson, for close to five fucking hours and she didn’t feed him? She was responsible for my baby. I let her take him into the city without me. I trusted her with my son and she didn’t feed him because he said he wasn’t hungry? He ate breakfast at 9 and it was close to 4 and my poor kid hadn’t eaten all day long.

At my cousin’s he ate grapes, carrots and a hot dog. Then he ate some noodles and a few lollipops. Then he ate pizza, a cookie, some cake and another lollipop. We got home and he ate another hot dog. My mother’s head is so far up her ass sometimes it’s a wonder I survived my childhood.

A is for age: I turned 30 in March, but since I was pregnant and couldn’t celebrate properly we’ll be celebrating my 30th birthday again this year.

B is for burger of choice: medium rare with bacon, swiss and caramelized onions

C is for the car I drive: 2007 Toyota Corolla to replace the totalled 1995 Toyota Corolla that replaced the 1986 Toyota Corolla

D is for your dog’s name: Mikey died in 2001

E is for essential item you use every day: water bottle. Love the thinksport.

F is for favorite TV show at the moment: The Office

G is for favorite game: Trivial Pursuit

H is for home state: Pennsylvania

I is for instruments you play: I took piano lessons for years as a kid but never practiced and can’t play anything but a scaled down version of a Bach Bourre and a sad little version of Footloose.

J is for favorite juice: Grape

K is for whose bum you’d like to kick: The idiots who keep sending out Obama is a terrorist emails

L is for last restaurant at which you ate: Adobe Cafe

M is for your favorite Muppet: Animal

N is for number of piercings: I don’t know how many are still open but I have 13 holes in my ears (9 in one, 4 in the other) and one in my nose

O is for overnight hospital stays: The birth of my two kids

P is for people you were with today: Writing this on Sunday, so my husband and kids, his brother and sister and their spouses and my niece, Bob’s three cousins and their significant others. Then a bunch of people at the playground. Busy day.

Q is for what you do with your quiet time: Blog, read, stare.

R is for biggest regret: turning down a part time contracted teaching position for a full time sub position.

S is for status: Wiped out.

T is for time you woke up today: Just before 7.

U is for what you consider unique about yourself: My eyebrows have a mind of their own.

V is for vegetable you love: Green beans browned in butter

W is for worst habit: I tend to leave lids partially ajar which leads to many spills

X is for x-rays you’ve had: chest x-rays for the 2 1/2 year cough, lots of dental x-rays

Y is for yummy food you ate today: chocolate covered pretzels. And Cheetos.

Z is for zodiac: Aries

I tried to find an actual source for this random tidbit I found at Greatdad.com but I could not, so take it with a grain of salt.

If you have a pregnant wife who still hasn’t decided if she will choose to breastfeed, you may be interested in the results of a new study which suggests breastfed babies have fewer behavioral problems.

The physical and mental health benefits of breastfeeding are numerous, according to La Leche League International, which offers parenting advice about how fathers can play a role in this important experience.

It seems to me like all two-year-olds, whether they were breastfed or not. are subject to wild mood swings. My two-and-half-year-old is a bit of a shit at times who is capable of great acts of destruction. But today he played outside nicely for hours while my husband and I did yard work. He dug in the dirt, helped me sweep up and moved piles of leaves into the compost bins. I will now attribute all of his good behavior on the fact that he is breastfed, instead of on my stellar parenting skills.

Last winter when daycares began holding places for the fall I thought long and hard about it and considered the pros and cons of sending Sam to “school”. ( I call it “school” because as a teacher I can’t help but think that at 2 years of age we’re really talking daycare. This isn’t a value judgment. Daycare can be wonderful. I worked at an amazing daycare when I was in college and would send Sam there in a heartbeat if it wasn’t 375 miles away. But I don’t consider it preschool until a child is three.) Many of his friends are going to “school” and I feared that I’d somehow be doing him or me a disservice by keeping him at home.

Some of the pros for Sam are the socialization aspect, the exposure to an environment where adults other than family members are in charge, and the activities we’re just not set up for here. There are tons of crafts and games and toys he’ll only experience at school. The rest of the pros for sending him to school are all of the selfish reasons for me. I would love to have a few mornings a week to spend with Ben. I’d love to let Ben nap when he wanted to without dragging him along on Sam’s playdates and playground outings. I’d like the opportunity to nurse him and tickle him and cuddle him and encourage and play with him the way I was able to play with Sam when he was a baby. I imagine it would be lovely to be unencumbered by a toddler. It would also be a lot easier to get things done with one kid instead of two.

One of the biggest cons of sending Sam to school is that as a stay at home mom we don’t really have the funds to send him to daycare two or three mornings a week. We only have one salary because I chose not to work. One salary doesn’t really cover daycare. And besides, he’s not even preschool age yet. He’s two. He’s still so little. I stayed home for a reason. It doesn’t make sense to me to pay someone else to take of my kid for a few mornings a week. If I’m going to spend the money I’d rather spend it on a cleaning service.

So I chose not to fill out any applications. A few weeks ago when everyone else was gearing up for back to school I started to regret my decision. I wondered how on earth I’d be able to occupy and challenge Sam without shortchanging Ben. I wondered how I’d stay sane with a toddler who has stopped napping for good.

But now, a few weeks into the school year I’m feeling okay about things. Bob’s been working late, sailing or biking after school several afternoons a week and it’s not been affecting me as negatively as I had feared. We’ve settled into a routine, Sam and Ben and I, and aside from the long afternoon stretch when Sam should be napping, it’s going really well. We’ve got places to go and people to see. Running errands hasn’t been unbearable. Sam is starting to really enjoy Ben and Ben is enjoying Sam.

Not to mention that many of my friends’ two-year-olds who started school are having a terrible time adjusting. They are teary and clingy and just plain sad about leaving their parents. Most of them will probably get over it as they get used to it and start to enjoy the “school” environment. But every kid is different and for every kid who thrives in structured group settings there will be a kid who is miserable. I’m glad that I don’t have to deal with knowing what kind of kid Sam will be quite yet.

I’m sure that I will regret my decision to keep Sam at home throughout this year and I haven’t ruled out the possibility of trying to get him in somewhere after the new year. We are still adjusting to our routine without Bob around and frankly I’m exhausted by the end of the day. But I think we’ll be okay.

When I got pregnant with Sam I was in great shape. I’d been working out 4 or 5 times a week for years, I did yoga a few times a week, and walked all over the city. I was tight, toned, and slightly underweight. By the time I had my first doctor’s visit when I was 8 or 9 weeks pregnant I’d already gained 8 pounds. It never stopped. I kept gaining and gaining despite the fact that I was still working out 4 or 5 times a 50 week and doing yoga. I stopped looking at the scale when I hit 50 pounds gained a month or two before my due date.

Everyone told me I’d have no trouble losing the weight, especially because I was breastfeeding. I heard all sorts of rumors that breastfeeding helps with weight loss. I heard about women who dropped weight without trying and kept losing weight until they were below their pre-pregnancy weight. I heard about women who kept the weight on and lost it all at once when they stopped nursing. I struggled and struggled to lose the weight after Sam was born. When he was six months old I still couldn’t fit into all of my pre-baby pants. By 9 months postpartum I was able to wear most of my old clothes. With the help of two nasty stomach bugs I was back to pre-pregnancy weight by Sam’s first birthday. By the time he was 18 months old I’d gained 8 of those pounds back.

Maybe I would have lost the weight again when he stopped nursing, but I got pregnant again before I had the chance to find out.

So when I hear about people who credit breastfeeding with rapid weight loss I get a little bit bitter. Screw you, Naomi Watts. I’m sure your personal trainer had more to do with your fabulous shape than breastfeeding.

Actress Naomi Watts has said the pressures of motherhood are the reason for her slim post-pregnancy figure.

She said: “Breastfeeding - that’s how you drop weight. Even though you are just eating all the time, he is eating too”.

At least she’s honest about the sleep thing.

She adds: “My son is a true joy, but motherhood is harder than I thought. The biggest surprise was the lack of sleep. He is still struggling to sleep through the night”.

My son is driving me crazy. He is whiny and clingy and demanding and rude. He yells at me constantly to assert himself and throws things when his demands aren’t met. These are not behaviors he sees demonstrated on a regular basis so I can only hope that this is a stage.

I hope this stage is short-lived.

Every 15 minutes or so I find myself reminding him that he needs to speak nicely. He’ll immediately lower his voice to a regular speaking tone and say please, then go right back to yelling and demanding. If I give him a blue fork he’ll scream, “Noooooooo! Green fork!” Offering choices makes things worse. If I offer him the green fork or the blue fork he’ll say green then scream, “Nooooooo! Orange fork!” when the fork arrives.

Bedtime battles have returned. Our formerly 15-20 minute bedtime routine is now back to a full hour and a half. The last month of illness has left him unable to settle himself. I don’t object to staying with him until he falls asleep since I know he’s just not feeling well and his better habits will eventually return, but at seven months pregnant I’m just not that delicate anymore and getting out of bed wakes him every time. When he wakes he’s angry, demanding that I lay down on this particular spot on the pillow, then another spot on the pillow. He screams, “More kisses! More, more, more!” and it would be charming if he weren’t so damn angry about it, flailing his arms like a little dictator.

He wants me to carry him constantly, only wanting to walk when it’s unsafe or inconvenient. He no longer sits in a chair by himself for meals, he needs to sit on, “Mama’s lap!!” I can’t just cuddle him when trying to help him fall asleep, he insists on sleeping, “On top of mama, “ a demand I’m currently unwilling to meet.

He’s truly making me nuts. I’m sort of looking forward to a lumpy, blobby newborn who does little but nurse, sleep and poop all day long.

Last night wasn’t nearly as bad as I anticipated. He didn’t go to sleep until after 10, but he slept until 6 before waking up screaming. Whatever stomach issue he had seems to be mostly resolved. But I’m still tired so I’m stealing another meme from Ladybug’s Picnic.

I give you money and send you into the grocery store to pick up 5 items. You can only pick one thing from the following departments.. what is it?

1. Produce: from the supermarket? I haven’t gotten produce from the supermarket in a long time. Ummm. Apples are still in season.
2. Bakery: A loaf of Le Bus multi-grain bread
3. Meat: not from the supermarket.
4. Frozen: I’m in the mood for Ben and Jerry’s mint chocolate cookie ice cream
5. Dairy: Cabot seriously sharp cheddar

Let’s say we’re heading out for a weekend getaway. You’re only allowed to bring 3 articles of clothing with you. So, what’s in your bag?

I’m assuming that this is in addition to what I’m wearing, so for fall I’d bring

1. long-sleeved t-shirt
2. black cashmere turtleneck sweater
3. clean underwear

If I was to listen in on your conversations throughout the day, what 5 phrases or words would I be most likely to hear?

1. Not safe
2. Who loves Sammy?
3. Give mama a kiss
4. What time is it? Diaper Time
5. Stupid cat

So, what 3 things do you find yourself doing every single day, and if you didn’t get to do, you probably wouldn’t be in the best mood?

1. cuddle with Sam
2. read something- blogs, books, magazines, whatever
3. put toys away at night. I don’t like it, but if they don’t get put away I get irritated when I see them the next morning

We’re talking a 3 hour block with nobody around. What 5 activities might we find you doing?

1. Writing/reading blogs
2. watching TV online (we got rid of cable)
3. Cooking something
4. Grooming
5. Water aerobics. I’m all about it these days.

We are going to the zoo. But, it looks like it could start storming, so it’ll have to be a quick visit. What 3 exhibits do we have to get to?

1. Primate house
2. Rare animals
3. Giant River Otters- my favorites

You just scored tickets to the taping of any show that comes on t.v. of your choice. You can pick between 4, so what are you deciding between?

1. The Daily Show
2. The Colbert Report
3. America’s Test Kitchen
4. Iron Chef

You’re hungry for ice cream. I’ll give you a triple dipper ice cream cone. What 3 flavors can I pile on for ya?

1. butter pecan
2. coconut almond fudge
3. Mexican chocolate

Somebody stole your purse/wallet…in order to get it back, you have to name 5 things you know are inside to claim it. So, what’s in there?

I’ve still got a diaper bag

1. Diapees/Wipees animal print case with size 5 diapers
2. huge package of baby wipes
3. key chain with a ridiculous number of store cards on it
4. Camelbak water bottle
5. overstuffed wallet

You are at a job fair, and asked what areas you are interested in pursuing a career in. Let’s pretend you have every talent and ability to be whatever you wanted, so what 4 careers would be fun for you?

1. Food designer
2. yoga instructor
3. writer
4. something to do with film- I was a theater major in college and miss the fun

If you could go back and talk to the old you, when you were in high school, and inform yourself of 4 things, what would you say?

1. Dating a guy 10 years your senior is a terrible idea
2. Dreadlocks look ridiculous on teenage white girls
3. Smoking makes you smell bad
4. Your father would be thrilled if you lived with him. Don’t let your mother tell you otherwise.

Play along and leave me a comment if you do.

Age 3- We just moved from Connecticut to Pennsylvania. I left my amazing, crunchy granola pre-school where my favorite teacher was a bear-like man with a viking-like red beard and transferred into a Jewish preschool around the corner where the teachers were older Main Line yentas. I didn’t like going to school very much and my mom let me stay home a lot. One day I saw my class take a walk past my house. I said, “Mom, it’s my class.” She asked if I wanted to join them. I didn’t so we stayed in and watched through the window.

Age 6- First grade at a private Episcopalian school. I was one of just a few girls in my class and the only kid who could really, truly read. I had my own private reading group with my teacher and was pulled out to see the reading specialist once a week when I tested at an eighth grade level. The reading specialist yelled at me when she assigned me a story in an anthology to read over the week and I read the whole book. Who tells a kid to *stop* reading? This may be why I eventually became a reading specialist.

Age 9- I’m in fourth grade and I don’t particularly like it. I get demerits for wearing pink socks with my uniform. I get high honors the second trimester and the only boy in the grade who got high honors in the first trimester cornered me and told me I didn’t deserve it. I stole it from him. I felt bad because he was crying.

Age 12- We move from one house to another only the new house isn’t ready. We stay at a family friends house in the woods for a few weeks while they’re away. It’s quiet and idyllic except for the green shag carpeting. After they return we stay at my aunt’s house in the city. It’s fun in it’s own way. I like walking around. I find baker’s chocolate and make brownies from scratch for the first time.

Age 15- I am very unhappy because my mother told me my dad didn’t want me around in order to get me to go to boarding school. Further investigation reveals he said no such thing, but the tuition is paid and the damage is done. I dye my hair blue then get a lead role in a play and have to remove the blue and make it blond again.

check out another NaBloPoMo participant at Wedding Tactics.

Because I’m nothing if not original, I’m starting NaBloPoMo off with a meme seen at Ladybug’s Picnic

1. What kind of SOAP is in your bathtub right now?
Something blue in a bar for Bob and Dove-like generic bodywash for me.

2. Do you have any watermelon in your refrigerator?
Sadly it’s out of season, so no watermelon.

3. What would you change about your living room?
The cats destroyed the hand-me-down navy blue leather furniture that I never much cared for to begin with.

4. Are the dishes in your dishwasher clean or dirty?
Dirty

5. What is in your fridge?
Milk, beer, apple cider, butter (salted and sweet), soy milk, bok choy, leftover roasted potatoes and carrots, apples, pears, sour cream, lots of condiments including a jar or mayonnaise that’s way expired (I don’t touch the stuff), a huge head of broccoli from my farm share, leftover sweet potatoes and black beans, spinach tortillas, several kinds of cheese, roast beef for Bob’s lunch, a bunch of kale, and a lot of items I can’t think of right now.

6. White or wheat bread?
Wheat bread

7. What is on top of your refrigerator?
Coffee filters, a cake plate and some junk I can’t remember

8. What color or design is on your shower curtain?
Green ivy

9. How many plants are in your home?
About a dozen and a bunch outside that need to come in for the winter.

10. Is your bed made right now?
No, I’m not good about making the bed.

11. Comet or Soft Scrub?
Neither. I’ve been using baking soda.

12. Is your closet organized?
No. It’s a complete mess.

13. Can you describe your flashlight?
We have a small black metal generic Mag-lite, a large Blue flashlight that has a stand, and a medium-sized black flashlight with a white ring.

14. Do you drink out of glass or plastic most of the time at home?
Glass.

15. Do you have iced tea made in a pitcher right now?
No. We never have iced tea in the house.

16. If you have a garage, is it cluttered?
It is a complete disaster.

17. Curtains or blinds?
Crappy blinds we inherited with the house and haven’t changed.

18. How many pillows do you sleep with?
Two or three. Sometimes I cuddle one.

19. Do you sleep with any lights on at night?
No.

20. How often do you vacuum?
A few times a week or daily when we’ve got the wood stove running.

21. Standard toothbrush or electric?
Electric

22. What color is your toothbrush?
White. Mine’s got the pink identifying ring.

23. Do you have a welcome mat on your front porch?
Yes, but it doesn’t say welcome so I guess it’s just a mat.

24. What is in your oven right now?
Nothing.

25. Is there anything under your bed?
Too many shoes, mostly Bob’s.

26. Chore you hate doing the most?
Folding laundry. It often sits for weeks, wrinkling in the basket, but emptying the dishwasher is a close second.

27. What retro items are in your home?
We have many antique items, but retro? I guess Bob’s record player and an old-school juice squeezer.

28. Do you have a separate room that you use as an office?
We have an office but we don’t use it. It’s cold and cluttered and the desktop is seven years old and the monitor’s stripy.

29. How many mirrors are in your home?
Three. One in each bathroom and one at the bottom of the front stairs.

30. Do you have any hidden emergency money around your home?
About $300 worth of traveler’s checks and probably just as much in loose change.

31. What color are your walls?
Brown in the living room, yellow in the dining room, green in the kitchen, “spring dust” in our bedroom (yes, it looks like pollen), and a sand color pretty much every where else.

32. Do you keep any kind of protection weapons in your home?
I don’t think we do. We (well, Bob, not I) had a gun at some point that he was holding for a friend whose wife wouldn’t allow it in the house. I’m pretty sure he gave it back.

33. What does your home smell like right now?
I don’t know. An old house I guess? Litter box in the laundry room? It smells like basement in the basement.

34. Favorite candle scent?
I can’t stand scented candles anymore.

35. What kind of pickles (if any) are in your refrigerator right now?
Gherkins and some pickles a friend made.

36. What color is your favorite Bible?
I don’t have a favorite bible.

37. Ever been on your roof?
I’ve put a foot out, but I generally save that kind of work for Bob.

38. Do you own a stereo?
Yes

39. How many TVs do you have?
Two or three. There may be one in the basement.

40. How many house phones?
One with an extra cordless extension.

41. Do you have a housekeeper?
No. We need a cleaning service.

42. What style do you decorate in?
Eclectic. Antiques mixed with newer Ikea crap.

43. Do you like solid colors in furniture or prints?
I’m too chicken to buy prints.

44. Is there a smoke detector in your home?
Yes, several on each floor.

45. In case of fire, what are the items in your house which you’d grab if you only could make one quick trip?
Sam and whatever cats I could grab.

I’m Jackie. I really enjoyed reading Kelli’s take on breastfeeding and I’m excited to take over the blog for her. I also write Kids Dish, a blog where I write about food and children and how to hopefully get my child and yours to ingest more of the foods that are healthy.

My husband Bob and I have one son, Sam, who is currently seventeen months old. He latched on just minutes after his birth and nursed like a champ, but it took longer than expected for my milk to come in which was traumatic for all of us. Then the milk came in with a vengeance. Aside from some overproduction issues, a few bouts of mastitis, and a couple of long-lasting solid food strikes our nursing relationship has been easy. I never dreamed I’d still be nursing seventeen months postpartum, but I am, and I don’t mind it nearly as much as I would have expected.

Sam isn’t nursing every day or even every week. We’re currently in a “don’t offer, don’t refuse” holding pattern where we’ll go days or weeks without then he’ll look up at me and make the ASL sign for “milk.” When he asks I look at him carefully and ask, “Are you sure? Would you rather have something to eat or drink?” He usually signs for milk again and start lifting my shirt up to get it himself. This tends to happen first thing in the morning, though occasionally he’ll want to nurse when he wakes up in the middle of the night. All things considered it’s not so bad.

As for my parenting philosophy I don’t consider myself an follower of attachment parenting, though I certainly am attached. Nor do I consider myself a lactivist, though I am (obviously) very pro-breastfeeding. I just try to keep myself and my family happy, healthy and safe by whatever means necessary. Sometimes whatever means necessary involves popsicles for breakfast.

Last night, I went to the La Leche League fundraiser to celebrate World Breastfeeding Week. I didn’t know a soul there, but at a minimum, I thought my son would have fun. We had a great time and I met some new people. I will definitely be looking into joining one of the chapters in my area.

Before I had children of my own, I had a distorted perception of the La Leche League. Some of this perception was based on media, some based on personal experiences. By the time I figured out that the League would actually be a good fit for me, I was already involved in the breastfeeding support group at my hospital. I didn’t really have the time to get involved in something else an the support group was enough for me. However, this time around with my daughter, the support group at my hospital probably won’t work for us unless I can get my son into a specific day for his mother’s day out program. Simply, it’s too difficult to drag an active toddler to the support group. The support group is comprised mostly of new mothers and frankly, most new mothers are leery of a grabby toddler around their newborns. I understand that and to be respectful, don’t feel comfortable taking Arun there now. So, I will be looking into the La Leche League as an alternative. And after last night’s activity, am looking forward to joining something new.

I wonder what other ill-conceived perceptions have held me back from new experiences?

Around Friday, I could definitely detect a downswing in my mood. No, I’m not talking post-partum depression, but I was afraid I was facing a case of the Baby Blues. It hasn’t gotten too bad and I am just trying to keep on top of it so that it doesn’t get the best of me. How do I do that? It’s the little things. Everyday, I make a few goals for myself - it might be just a small laundry list of household chores and errands, but for me, having a definable list of things to do makes me feel good. To accomplish a small set of things allows me to relax later in the day when they are finished. I also bought a load of Choxie Chocolates when I was at Target - quality chocolate for not a large price. They come in small packages, so I don’t go overboard - a few pieces here and there with a glass of milk is a treat, but not a guilt-laden one. On Saturday, I bought some flowers - nothing expensive, they were $9 and the type to last at least a week. I am doing my best to keep the house reasonably clean because I know a mess gets me down - really DOWN. I’ve been scheduling outings with friends and family. I’ve also been carving time for my favorite hobbies that relax me - my books and my knitting. Conversely, I’ve limited my TV time and let the DVR fill up because I know that TV generally doesn’t make me feel good.

And most importantly, I am making a point to just sit and hang out with my kids. When I am breastfeeding, I really use that time to talk to my son (even if he is watching TV, I’ll talk about what is going on in the program), read books to him or just snuggle with both of them. This is when I really, really appreciate being able to exclusively breastfeed, because it forces me to sit down and focus on my kids. The dishes, laundry and the bazillion other things can wait.

So, no - I don’t see post-partum depression lingering, but possibly some garden-variety Baby Blues. This happened with my son and I know from experience that it needs to be cut at the quick before it takes over. And for me, it’s the little things that keep my head above water while I tread the current moves me to safer water.

One of the benefits touted regarding breastfeeding is the fact that it can help you lose your baby weight more quickly. With my son, I gained 22 lbs and was back to my pre-pregnancy weight by 3 weeks post-partum. With my daughter, I gained 19.5 lbs and am back to my pre-pregnancy weight at 2 weeks post-partum. However, the body does get all “shifty” on you after having a baby AND my uterus still has not shrunk all the way. I’d be a liar if I didn’t say the capris I am wearing aren’t a teeny bit snug. Still, I can’t complain. To be able to shed maternity clothes this early in the game is a HUGE boost for tackling the Baby Blues Funk I feel coming on. More about that next week………

Apparently, my induction was scheduled for 7 PM which is significantly, completely and utterly different than AM.

Specifically, one is in the MORNING and the other is in the EVENING.

Now that I am done freaking out and we have figured out who is going to take care of Arun tonight and tomorrow because in other news, our plans for him fell through, I am doing okay. Actually, I’m lying.

I’m still totally freaked out.

I apologize for these departures from “breastfeeding”, but it is difficult to wrap my head around the topic of breasts until I get this “birthin’ part accomplished. Bear with me.

I am getting induced bright n’ early tomorrow morning. My son has already been informed that his contract for the position of Head Honcho is up for renegotiation and that his new terms aren’t looking so hot.

Will return Wednesday - I will be taking copious notes on how the early days go with breastfeeding. Those entries will be in a category called “Dear Diary” and I am planning to do at least 2 straight weeks’ worth, but would really like to do 3 weeks. In the meantime, let’s end this on a lighter note, shall we?

Friday, 7/6/07 - Anjali’s Due Date
With no baby imminently showing the whites of her eyes that night, I thought that I would splurge and get a vanilla malt. I love malts and HATE milkshakes - but I rarely get malts because they are what? A squillion calories or something? Anyway….. So, I go to Sheriden’s then drive merrily on my way home. I pull into the garage, reach for the malt and it’s not there. I realized with a slight horror what I had done. I had basically chucked a $20 bill at the kid in the drive-thru window at Sheriden’s - then, I drove off. DUDE. I didn’t even get my change, much less my malt. So, yeah. I sheepishly drove back to Sheriden’s to retrieve my money and malt. Sadly, they were fresh out of Dignity and Pride.

I may not have birthed a baby on my due date Friday, but apparently I birthed my brain.

However. There’s even more.

My husband was the IN THE CAR WITH ME THE ENTIRE TIME.

Innernets, I ask of you - - - What’s HIS excuse??

Talk amongst yourself.