Nursing Your Kids

The nice people at Upspring contacted me to see if I’d be interested in testing out their milkscreen alcohol test kits. As a woman who enjoys a drink, I jumped at the opportunity.

Tonight I had one drink over the course of an hour and a half. It was a Manhattan, so it was all alcohol, no mixer. Figuring that one drink wouldn’t have much of an effect on me I tested my milk shortly after finishing the drink. It was a little awkward, hunching over a test strip in the bathroom trying to hand express some milk for the test, but I was able to get enough to thoroughly cover the test pad. I shook off the excess and waited. Then I remembered that I was supposed to set a timer so I yelled for my husband to set the timer for 2 minutes. The timer went off and according to the darkest patch on test I was basically loaded and shouldn’t be breastfeeding.

I waited an hour and tested again. The second test, timed exactly, was as clear as can be. But in the meantime the original test turned black. After a few minutes the second test started to get darker. Within an hour the second test also turned black.

Forgive the blur, but I’m having some formatting difficulty.

From left to right: test one, test two, and the two tests half an hour after the second test

My husband thinks that because I waited longer than the two minutes to check the results the first time that the test may have been compromised. The directions say that alcohol in the air can cause the strips to darken so perhaps my household (alcohol soaked as it is) influenced the initial test results. Or perhaps I was just boozier than I thought, and it was good that I waited. But the fact that both tests turned black made me question how sensitive they are.

I have two tests left. I haven’t yet decided whether to test them on the same night like I did with the first test, or if I should try testing two separate times. Stay tuned for more adventures in alcohol soaked breastmilk and a giveaway.

I may be in the minority here, but I hated my Boppy pillow. As a nursing aid I found it completely useless. Although it was more time consuming, I was better off and more comfortable with a few couch cushions and bed pillows propped in various configurations. The only thing I really liked the Boppy for was sitting on. It helped relieve some post-childbirth pressure on my delicate nether-regions.

I’ve heard that the My Brest Friend pillow, stupid name aside, is far superior to the Boppy, but I never had the opportunity to try one.

Now there is another nursing pillow on the market. I saw this, the Belly-Fish, a nursing pillow and cover all in one in my web travels today. The Belly-Fish wraps around like the other nursing pillows, but it features two adjustable nursing covers on each side. You can unsnap them for privacy or leave them down and just use the pillow. There’s an adjustable neck strap for added support for positioning the pillow. The pillow folds in half so it’s not as bulky to travel with, and according to the testimonials on the website it fits in a diaper bag or in the bottom of a stroller. It looks pretty big to me, and I don’t know that I’d actually travel with it, but I know plenty of women who might.

Since I haven’t actually seen the pillow in person or had a chance to test it out I don’t know how well the pillow works for support, but the prints are beautiful. The fabrics alone would make this a great shower gift for a new mother to be. I also appreciate that the cover is machine washable.

The Belly Fish was created by two mothers in California. Check out their website for more information or watch a video about the Belly Fish.

And these I really do love.

When I found out I was pregnant again and due in the spring I knew I needed a good baby carrier. I envisioned myself wearing the baby on the beach chasing a toddler so I specifically wanted something that was supportive, lightweight and had built in sun protection. The Baby Wearer forums was where I started my research and learned about solarveil (out of production, but still available used) and solarweave fabrics. I started off buying two carriers.

The first, another ring sling made by Sleeping Baby Productions, has unpadded rails, and is made from solarweave. Unlike the Over-The-Shoulder-Baby-Holder that I had such a love-hate relationship with, this carrier has an open tail which makes it much easier to adjust than the OTSBH’s closed tail. It’s very lightweight and packs small in a diaper bag. When he was an infant it was easy to tuck Ben in completely, but as he got longer his legs were exposed (he only liked being worn tummy to tummy, not in the cradle hold) but because of the nice long tail I could still keep him completely covered. The only thing I don’t love about it is that solarveil is slightly rough to the touch. Ben didn’t mind it, but I always felt bad when I’d take him out and his skin was imprinted with the solarveil weave. Wearing Ben was so much easier in this one that I promptly sold the other ring sling. I have no good pictures of me wearing it so I’ll upload this one as a placeholder.

Then I bought a wrap. I knew that the Moby Wrap was one of the most popular beginner’s wraps and I found that they made wraps with SPF. But all of the reviews said the wrap was hot and heavy in the summer. Someone at the Baby Wearer forums recommended Gypsy Mama’s Water Wrap. I didn’t see any used in the forums so I took the plunge and ordered a new, irregular(aesthetic flaw, not a design flaw) wrap. It’s lightweight, silky soft, and pretty enough to wear to a wedding (which I did- twice). I wore this almost all summer long. It was stretchy and supportive and easy to tuck all of Ben’s limbs in so he didn’t get any sun exposure. Sadly, and I knew this when I bought it, it’s meant for water so after four months I wasn’t able to use it comfortably. Ben just got too heavy in it. I passed it on to a friend to use until next summer when I may want it back for the beach or the pool.

I wanted a carrier for wearing Ben on my back as a newborn so I bought a Kozy Mei Tai. Mei Tais are Asian-style baby carriers with a square of fabric, straps at the waist and straps that go around the shoulders and back. They’re very versatile since you can wear your baby on your front, your back or your hip. The Kozy has slightly padded straps, but many other kinds don’t if padded isn’t your thing.

Here’s a picture of Ben on my back at about 4 weeks old. (he’s about 4 months in the other picture. The carrier is very supportive and easy to adjust once you get the hang of it. You need to make it really tight for it to be comfortable, which means you have to actually bounce up and down while you adjust the straps. I can carry Sam in this one pretty comfortably too.

Once you start buying carriers it’s hard to stop. I decided a soft-structured carrier- something like Mei Tai, only with buckles instead of ties- should be next A bunch of my friends have Ergo carriers and they always looked like a great idea. But every time I tried one on it sat funny on my shoulders and never quite felt comfortable. A great thread on the Baby Wearer forums talked about carriers for smaller women. A bunch of similar to the Ergo, soft structured carriers were recommended. I ended up choosing a Tentoes Click because it was one of the least expensive. I like it. I can wear Ben facing in, facing out, and on my back. It’s easy to adjust when it’s on and it’s got a nice big pocket so I don’t need to carry a bag when I wear it. However I don’t love the straps. The webbing is on the outside so they get bunchy when you tighten them. It’s not uncomfortable but it’s not aesthetically pleasing. Here’s another picture with more of a full view.

In honor of the inaugural International Babywearing Week

When Sam was born I knew I wanted something to wear him in so I could get things done around the house. I’d read The Happiest Baby on the Block book and knew fussy babies liked to be worn. I’d only ever really seen people wearing Baby Bjorns so I registered for one of those. When we got him home from the hospital Sam was under 6 pounds. The weight limit on the Bjorn was 8. I needed something quick. So I looked online, read about pouch slings, found two places locally that carried them and took off.

We went to a cute, trendy baby boutique first where I picked up a hotsling. It seemed like it didn’t fit right but I didn’t really know so I bought it. But I was unsure so we went to the next place, The Breastfeeding Resource Center to try on some more. By the time we got there Sam was hysterical. I’d fed him at the first place but he was 2 weeks old and didn’t like the car. I put Sam in a different brand of pouch sling. He hated it. His screams were loud and jarring and scary to my new mother ears. I put him in a big ugly ring sling. He immediately stopped crying. I adjusted it a bit. He started to root around. They offered me a space to nurse him. So I did, in the sling. He fell asleep. I was stuck. I had to buy the thing.

I wore Sam in the Over-the-Shoulder-Baby-Holder for months. It was big and ugly and hot. It was bulky. It wasn’t all that comfortable. But Sam loved it. He was as happy as can be. I think the last time I wore him in it for real he was 18 months old and I wore him backpack style.

We also had a Bjorn borrowed from a friend. It hurt my back.

Later we picked up a Kelty Kids frame backpack on Craigslist. It is too big for me but Bob still wears Sam in it on occasion.

At home it’s relatively easy to get comfortable those first few awkward weeks of breastfeeding.. Most women set up a nursing station, complete with pillows, a nursing stool, pitchers of water, remote controls, books, magazines, snacks and more pillows. It’s easy to sit back, relax and let it all hang out-literally- while you’re feeding your baby. Struggling to latch may still be a struggle, but at least you don’t have to worry about your arm falling asleep once you’ve achieved a good one.

But when you’re out in public it’s a different story. Struggling to latch makes you feel like the whole world is watching you wrestle your screaming baby onto your exposed breast. Whatever you’re using to cover yourself is too small and when you’re covered from one angle, your baby’s squirms ensure you feel exposed from the other angle. If you’re like me, once your baby starts crying your milk starts squirting and now you’ve got a screaming baby covered in milk, arms covered in milk, milk dripping down your stomach, and a red, embarrassed face. Once baby is latched and you’ve discreetly patted yourself and baby dry, covered any exposed flesh, and started to breathe normally again, your arm starts to fall asleep.

Once again, Babygadget has shown me a fantastic product I can’t help but link to. Thruppeny Bits (sorry, I can’t link directly to the page) are breastfeeding pillows you can bring with you, eliminating the awkward discomfort that most new breastfeeding mothers experience every time they’re forced to nurse their child outside of the home. You carry them like a bag, over your shoulder or over the stroller handles. This pillow won’t help you with everything, but at least it will help prevent dead-arm and you won’t feel ridiculous carrying it. Of course they’re only available in the UK, but perhaps some enterprising company will bring them stateside for us.

And the name is cockney rhyming slang. Apples and pears is cockney slang for stairs. Thruppeny bits is cockney slang for…

In our neighborhood the majority of babies are breastfed and most mothers aren’t afraid to nurse their babies at the playground. It’s not unusual to see a woman with a squirmy, kicking baby at her breast with or without some sort of cover. Kids on the playground run up and stare or poke at the baby’s toes and ask what the baby is doing. Once they learn the baby is eating, the kids generally just say, “Oh,” and run off to play again. It’s not a big deal.

No matter how normal it is for the under five set, I wonder how many of the children on the playground will remember that babies are fed by their mother’s breasts. The majority of babies on children’s programming on television drink from bottles. Aside from a 30 year old Sesame Street clip I have yet to see a baby breastfeeding. Baby dolls on the market, with those strange little holes for mouths, come equipped with bottles. It’s no wonder children see a woman nursing and ask, “What are you doing?” I’m sure that Sam, who sees me feed his brother several times a day will have forgotten that babies are fed by their mother’s breasts by the time his social circle changes so that he’s no longer surrounded by babies.

A company out of the UK specializes in breastfeeding baby dolls called Boobie Buddies. From the website:

Known as “Boobie Buddies” my designs are soft and cuddly, and anatomically correct for breastfeeding. Involving the use of secure hidden internal magnets at key points throughout the Mum & Baby dolls bodies thus allowing them to kiss, hold hands, cuddle and breastfeed, showing the “Natural Way” to feed babies and little ones.
This will open up discussion and teaches the next generations about breastfeeding in a fun way, through play.
Let’s move away from dolls with bottles and show the natural and ethical alternatives I have available through my designs.

These dolls would be great for older siblings. The clothes are removable for added role playing fun and the babies even come equipped with a removable cloth diaper.

link via Babygadget

The more time you spend on cloth diaper websites the more overwhelmed you’ll feel. There are a lot of abbreviations and every cloth-diapering parent has opinions about which diaper is the best. If there’s a local brick and mortar store that sells cloth diapers check them out in person. Anyone who sells cloth diapers loves to talk about them and will walk you through the benefits and drawbacks of each brand. Some of the online stores don’t have actual storefronts, but the people who run them will often invite local customers to their home or warehouse to look at or purchase diapers and accessories. If you’re currently using disposable diapers and would like to make the switch to cloth here are some recommendations.

If you’re in it to save money buy a couple dozen prefolds, a bunch of different covers and call it a day. It’s simple, quick, and you have the option of learning a bunch of complicated folds or the option of just folding the diaper in thirds and sticking it in a cover. You may be turned off by how wet prefolds feel, and you will have to change them more often than disposables, especially with younger babies. But they are absorbent, easy to use and cheap.

If you’re in it for environmental reasons and don’t mind spending money I’d recommend trying a bunch of different combinations to see what you like and what fits your baby. There are a number of cloth diapering websites that offer combination packages of prefolds ,covers, pockets, and all-in-ones at a slight discount. There are numerous different packages available. Most cater towards newborns but have the option to upgrade to a larger size if you’re making the switch with an older or bigger baby. Some of the more economical packages are available at Green Mountain Diapers, Baby’s Abode, and Earthy Birthy Mama.

A few sites even have a trial option, where for a fee you can rent diapers for a period of time. At the end of the trial you can either keep or return them and get your deposit back minus a fee that goes toward your next purchase. This is a great way to get your feet wet without having to commit financially. You can “rent” diapers from Monkey Toe Diapers, Jillian’s Drawers, Sunshine Diapers, and Diaper Daisy.

One of the cheapest way to buy cloth diapers to buy them used. It sounds gross at first, but once you get past that initial ick factor and realize that cloth diaper users are fanatical about laundry, you can find used diapers at diaper trading sites like Diaper Swappers or on your local Craigslist at a big discount.

I know that this is a breastfeeding blog so I apologize for hijacking it with cloth diaper info, but I keep reading blogs where parents lament that they didn’t choose cloth diapers, or where parents say they’d like to try them but haven’t. If you’re curious and look online it can be totally overwhelming since there are so many different kinds of cloth diapers. There are many more detailed descriptions online, but this quick guide is based on my experiences.

Prefolds and covers:
Prefolds are the old-fashioned diapers your mother may have used. They are squares of white bleached or unbleached cotton sewn so that there’s a thicker, more absorbent area in the middle. They can be pinned or snappi’d (a snappi is a pinless diaper fastener) and covered or tri-folded and covered.

The drawback to prefolds is that they feel wet immediately which means changing them a lot more often than you’d change disposables. But this is also a good thing since your baby shouldn’t be sitting around in a wet diaper anyway. Prefolds are the cheapest cloth diapers and the easiest to wash. They don’t come in many sizes, which makes them easy to order. With covers that fit well, you won’t have leaks. Ben, who was 2 weeks old at the time, is wearing a prefold with a PUL cover in the picture.

Covers come in wool, fleece and PUL. PUL is a waterproof, plasticky feeling material. It stays dry to the touch and contains moisture. It won’t feel wet on the outside. If it’s wet, you can just wipe it clean between wearings.

Fleece is more breathable than PUL. It’s soft to the touch and easy to care for. It does get wet on the outside if it’s compressed and a diaper is soaked through. Car seats, baby carriers and strollers are risky if you can’t change a wet diaper right away.

Wool is supposed to be both “bulletproof” and breathable. It holds a ton of moisture. It can’t be washed with your other diapers, but you can let it air dry between wearings. Most wool needs to be lanolized on a fairly regular basis to stay water tight. I’ve been too chicken to try wool covers with our prefolds.

All-in-ones are most like disposable diapers. They are one-piece diapers that fasten with aplix (which is like Velcro) or snaps. If your child is in daycare and you want them to use cloth, AIOs are the most likely to be accepted. A big drawback is that they take forever to dry. They are also the most expensive diapers and you’ll need a lot of them.

Pocket diapers, like all-in-ones, are a lot like disposables. The difference is that pocket diapers have removable absorbent inserts. You can add inserts or doublers for more absorbency for naps and overnight. They dry much more quickly than all-in-ones. The biggest inconvenience is that you have to stuff them before using. Daycares will often accept pocket diapers, since they are easy to use. I’ve heard rumors that different laundry detergents can make them repel liquid, which is the exact opposite of what you want in a diaper. I haven’t had any problems with this.

Fitted diapers are my least favorite. They have snap closures and elastic legs to “fit” your baby. Like prefolds they require a cover. Like prefolds they get very, very wet. Because you have to use a cover they are bulkier than other kinds of cloth diapers.

gDiapers:
If you are uneasy about doing extra laundry you may want to try gDiapers. They are a cloth/disposable hybrid. The outer cover is cloth with an inner plastic liner that holds disposable inserts. The inserts decompose much more quickly than regular disposable diapers and if you have a compost pile you can compost the wet ones.

The cotton covers are supercute and fit well. The plastic liners stain easily. I found that it was difficult to change just the insert and ended up changing the whole thing- cover, liner and insert instead. It’s not a big deal, it just wasn’t what I expected. When wet, the inserts get sort of weird and bunchy up front and stay pretty dry in the back. It could be different for girls, but that was my experience. The inserts are expensive which was a huge drawback for me.

I started using cloth diapers when I was pregnant with Ben and Sam was 21 months old. It was something I’d considered when I was pregnant with Sam, but not brave enough to attempt. Now that I’ve been cloth diapering a toddler for half a year and a newborn for 11 weeks I think it’s safe to say that if you’re thinking about using cloth diapers you should just go for it. It’s not as hard (or as smelly and gross) as I anticipated.

There are a number of different kinds of cloth diapers and everyone has their favorites. You can find some of the more well-known brands just about anywhere online, including diapers.com. People spend hours stalking some of the harder to get diapers when they go on sale.

I have about 15 diapers for Sam and about 50 for Ben. I know that 50 sounds like a lot, but 2 dozen of Ben’s diapers are prefolds, which are inexpensive and double as burp cloths, leak guards and changing pads. I wash diapers every 2 to 3 days. The diaper pail doesn’t smell nearly as disgusting as the disposable diaper pail did. Ben hasn’t had a single blow out. We’ve had some leaks, but nothing like the daily, up to the neck blowouts Sam had as an infant.

In terms of money, I spent a lot initially. But I’ve sold a number of the diapers that were outgrown or that I didn’t like and made almost all of the money back. Cloth diapers have a great resale value. I’ll go through some of the different kinds, and the advantages and disadvantages of each tomorrow.

One of the things I’ve been considering for baby number two is an Arm’s Reach Co-Sleeper. When Sam was born he slept in the bassinet attachment of a pack n play next to our bed (when he wasn’t actually sleeping in our bed) for the first four or five months of his life and it was fine. But one of my complaints about the pack n play was that it wasn’t level with the bed so I had to lift him in and out of it every time he needed to nurse. That is probably why he spent so much time actually sleeping in our bed.

The Arm’s Reach Co-Sleeper looks as though it solves that problem. With the leg attachments we could make it level with our mattress, eliminating my need to stoop or bend, but looking more closely at the actual product I wonder if it makes sense at all. It looks like the fourth wall, the side that butts up against the bed, doesn’t go down completely. Based on the images from the site it seems like there’s still a partial wall which means I wouldn’t be able to just slide over and nurse, I’d still have to lift the baby from the co-sleeper and return the baby to the co-sleeper.

If that’s the case, what’s the point? Aside from being slightly more level than a pack n play what are the advantages, if any of using an actual co-sleeper? Unfortunately our crib doesn’t have a drop side. If it did, we’d be able to sidecar the crib, completely eliminating any barricade between me and baby, an idea which seems to make more sense.

Does anyone have any experience with the Arms Reach Co-Sleeper or a crib side-car that you can share?

Because motherhood has turned me into a hippie (see my first post about BPA) I’ve moved on to yet another cloth product- nursing pads. Instead of the crinkly, crunchy papery pads I used those first six months with Sam I decided to go for a softer, more environmentally friendly alternative. It’s not that the disposable pads didn’t work- they worked just fine. But now that we’re using cloth diapers it just doesn’t make sense to use a product that creates trash instead of something I can wash and reuse.

Not really knowing what to expect from washable nursing pads I read a bunch of reviews of the more popular brands and couldn’t really come up with any consensus. I imagine, that like the disposables, it’s a matter of personal preference. I know I don’t want anything plasticky, like Lily Padz- for some reason the idea of walking around with silicone stuck to my skin kind of creeps me out. I may want gel pads like Soothies for the first few weeks, but not so much afterwards. Since I had some overproduction issues I don’t want to run the risk of embarrassing leaks just using a simple cotton pad, so most of the washable pads available in drugstores are out.

So I turned to the cloth diaper message boards. Again, there was no consensus on which brands work the best, but people overwhelmingly recommended using pads that are backed in wool. Wool is used as a diaper cover because it’s absorbent, breathable, and doesn’t leak. The same principle applies to nursing pads. Everyone who uses them likes them. The only complaint is that they don’t always look right under shirts, but that applies to the disposable pads as well- I used a ton of different brands and never found one that didn’t show through a shirt.

I ended up buying a several pairs of organic bamboo velour pads with wool backing and a few pairs of thinner pads made from bamboo which is really soft. I’ve only leaked once so far this pregnancy, but I’m sort of looking forward to leaking again so I can see how well they work. The worst that can happen is that I won’t like them and I’ll have to sell them. Believe it or not, nursing pads, like cloth diapers have a pretty high resale value.

One of the things that made life with a newborn much easier for me was the purchase of a ring sling. When I was pregnant I registered for a Baby Bjorn, since I’d seen them everywhere. But Sam was too small to use it for weeks so I returned it and found myself desperately in need of a carrier. I’d read about Hotslings and Peanut Shell slings, so when Sam was about two weeks old I loaded him in the car and went on a mission to buy a carrier. We tried a Hotsling first. I plopped him in the pouch and bounced a bit to get him comfortable. He cried and fussed, but I decided to buy it anyway just in case he needed time to get used it.

We headed to the next place, The Breastfeeding Resource Center, to try out some other carrier options. Sam screamed the entire way there. When we got into the store I put on a Peanut Shell and stuck him in. He screamed even louder, seemingly outraged by the suggestion that he might actually enjoy being carried in it. Next I tried on an Over the Shoulder Baby Holder, the biggest, bulkiest, ugliest ring sling ever. I slipped him in and he immediately quieted. I asked if there was a place where I could sit down and feed him. One of the women offered me her office. I lifted my shirt and found with the sling I could nurse him discreetly and still have a free hand. He nursed for close to an hour and fell soundly asleep.

Clearly the choice of carriers had been made for me. I hated the Over the Shoulder Baby Holder. It was comfortable for a while, but I felt completely overwhelmed by the bulky padding. Even so, I wasn’t taking any chances with other carriers. I returned the Hotsling (which was too big anyway) and I stuck with the OTSBH which we used daily for the first year of Sam’s life. Using the sling I was able to nurse him without drawing attention to myself in a variety of places. We nursed at Sam’s Club, on the Yeungling Brewery Tour, Target, the beach, restaurants, and the dinner table. Sam nursed while I vacuumed, took long walks, did yoga and used the bathroom.

Buying a sling was one of the best moves I made. There are a ton of other slings and carriers available. I’ve already purchased a new, non-padded ring sling made by Sleeping Baby Productions and a Gypsy Mama water wrap for the new baby. When the baby is a little bigger I will probably buy some sort of Mei Tai or carrier with straps for back carries. You can buy some of the more popular brands online at Amazon or Target and there are countless smaller online and brick and mortar stores to buy and try as well. The Baby Wearer is an excellent place to read reviews of different types of carriers and get advice from seasoned baby wearing moms and dads.