Nursing Your Kids

During an appearance on Oprah, Salma Hayek’s comments about her weight loss and her breastfeeding experience caused some controversy. Hayek said:

I thought, ‘As soon as this baby’s out, I’m just going to lose all the weight superfast because I’m going to breastfeed, and everybody tells you if you breastfeed, [the weight] is going to come off.’

I’m proud of what I’ve lost. And the rest is going to go when it’s time to go.

The main objection to the statement is that it sounds like she’s accusing women who did lose weight easily of lying and being unhealthy. I can see why her comments could be taken the wrong way, but since I’m one of the women who did not lose weight easily I know exactly where she’s coming from.

When I was pregnant with Sam I had an easy, healthy pregnancy where I worked out several times a week and ate well. The weight piled on anyway. My doctor didn’t believe that I’d gained as much as I had and questioned the accuracy of my pre-pregnancy weight. I carried small, with a big basketball belly right up until 37 weeks when I puffed up like the Goodyear blimp.

I thought for sure that breastfeeding would help me drop the weight. It didn’t. The water weight dropped off right way, but the rest went slowly. Even before I got the okay to exercise I walked miles every day up and down unfairly steep hills pushing a 30 lb stroller. Once I got the okay I went to yoga classes, did cardio several times a week and lifted weights two or three times a week. I ate well and drank a ton of water. It still took me nine months to fit into my pre-pregnancy jeans and close to a year and two stomach viruses to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight.

I think it’s great that Hayek was honest about her experience, despite her generalizations. Her generalizations are probably based in experience- I’m sure plenty of Hollywood mamas work out too much and don’t eat enough in order to lose the baby weight, just as some of the mothers I’ve known have done the same thing.

For me, weight loss because of breastfeeding was a lie. I worked my ass off to lose the weight and it still felt like it took forever. If breastfeeding helped you drop the weight, that’s great. I’m envious. But it doesn’t work for everyone.

I planned on writing a outraged piece about J Lo and her decision not to breastfeed because it would interfere with her ability to train for a marathon. The article I read had her quoted as saying things to the effect of, ‘I wasn’t breastfed and I turned out fine,’ as though that’s a good excuse for not bothering to even try to breastfeed when there’s no question that it’s the best possible for nutrition for an infant, and things like, ‘I want my children to be proud of me,’ like being an international sensation isn’t enough of a source of pride.

But since I’ve sat on it for a few days I’m not so outraged anymore. Instead I’m just sad that instead of spending time with her newborn twins she’s spending time with a personal trainer. Rather than make her kids proud by being a good mother she wants to make them proud by being in good shape.

I can’t really compare her life to mine. She is, after all, famous and her looks are worth far more than mine. But I still know what it’s like to want your body back. I was in great shape before I got pregnant with Sam and I’m sure I’ll never be in that kind of shape again. But before Sam was born I had ten or more hours a week to spend at the gym, lifting weights and practicing yoga. Perhaps when he’s older and the baby is older I’ll find that time again, but right now it’s not a priority. I still make time to exercise, and when the new baby is born in May I’ll make time to exercise again as soon as I get the okay, but for those first few months when the baby is nursing non-stop I’ll probably keep my gym membership on hold so I’m available for my baby. Those first months go by so quickly and with a spring baby I imagine I’ll get my exercise by walking to the playground every day or chasing Sam around the beach while wearing the baby in a sling or wrap.

It’s hard to struggle with body image when pregnancy so drastically changes the way you look and feel. I’m sure it’s worse when you’re paid to look fabulous. But so many other celebrities have been so public about breastfeeding that it just makes me sad that J Lo, who is such a role model, such an influence on women, seems to be telling the world that her body comes before her children.

Yet another celebrity is saying that breastfeeding helped her lose the baby weight. Christina Aguilera, who had her first postpartum interview on the Ellen show (you can watch the interview, which is awfully cute, here) sporting an enormous rack and teeny tiny waist told Access Hollywood:

I think they say that when you’re breastfeeding, you know, your weight kind of slims down. It’s a little easier. It’s like a workout within itself. It’s very tiring actually and you find yourself snacking more often.

As much as I find it difficult to believe that breastfeeding is doing all of the work for her, I agree with Monica’s comment yesterday about celebrities who talk about breastfeeding. Monica wrote:

I still like it when celebrities speak about breastfeeding at all just to spread the word. Personally if someone’s breastfeeding for the “wrong” reasons, whether for losing weight or celebrity worship, I don’t really care. It’s still better than if they never tried it at all!

I’m with you Monica. I just wish I had a team to whip me into shape when breastfeeding doesn’t magically make my baby weight disappear.

Here’s a list of some other celebrities who have openly talked about breastfeeding in the past year or so.

Naomi Watts
Nicole Ritchie
Julia Roberts
Jennifer Garner
Helena Bonham Carter
Salma Hayek
Maggie Gyllenhaal

A quick google search turned up this outdated “updated” list from Breastfeeding.com

Tori Amos
Erykah Badu
Cindy Crawford
Elle McPherson
Jerry Hall
Faith Hill
Jodie Foster
Karenna Gore-Schiff
Catherine Zeta-Jones

Lucy Lawless (pictured in an ad for World Breastfeeding Week) proudly breastfed her baby.

Some celebrities who were breastfed include:
Manny Ramirez (from the Red Sox)
Pelé (who they say was breastfed for 5 years!)
The Hansons (of Mmmm Bop fame)

When I got pregnant with Sam I was in great shape. I’d been working out 4 or 5 times a week for years, I did yoga a few times a week, and walked all over the city. I was tight, toned, and slightly underweight. By the time I had my first doctor’s visit when I was 8 or 9 weeks pregnant I’d already gained 8 pounds. It never stopped. I kept gaining and gaining despite the fact that I was still working out 4 or 5 times a 50 week and doing yoga. I stopped looking at the scale when I hit 50 pounds gained a month or two before my due date.

Everyone told me I’d have no trouble losing the weight, especially because I was breastfeeding. I heard all sorts of rumors that breastfeeding helps with weight loss. I heard about women who dropped weight without trying and kept losing weight until they were below their pre-pregnancy weight. I heard about women who kept the weight on and lost it all at once when they stopped nursing. I struggled and struggled to lose the weight after Sam was born. When he was six months old I still couldn’t fit into all of my pre-baby pants. By 9 months postpartum I was able to wear most of my old clothes. With the help of two nasty stomach bugs I was back to pre-pregnancy weight by Sam’s first birthday. By the time he was 18 months old I’d gained 8 of those pounds back.

Maybe I would have lost the weight again when he stopped nursing, but I got pregnant again before I had the chance to find out.

So when I hear about people who credit breastfeeding with rapid weight loss I get a little bit bitter. Screw you, Naomi Watts. I’m sure your personal trainer had more to do with your fabulous shape than breastfeeding.

Actress Naomi Watts has said the pressures of motherhood are the reason for her slim post-pregnancy figure.

She said: “Breastfeeding - that’s how you drop weight. Even though you are just eating all the time, he is eating too”.

At least she’s honest about the sleep thing.

She adds: “My son is a true joy, but motherhood is harder than I thought. The biggest surprise was the lack of sleep. He is still struggling to sleep through the night”.

According to various reports, Salma Hayek, executive producer Ugly Betty has become a milk machine since the birth of her daughter Valentina in September. Rumor has it she’s pumping around the clock to help lose some of the baby weight.

A friend of the actress said: “Salma has been pumping and freezing endless amounts of breast milk. When she’s not feeding Valentina, she’s hooked up to an industrial-size breast pump.”

“The best way of losing weight is to work toward a gradual weight loss, eat when you’re hungry, and make sure you get enough fluids. It’s the best way of losing weight easily and safely!”

I hope this is just rumor. I’m all for breastfeeding, but I’ve got to agree with the lactation consultant. Breastfeeding isn’t just for weight loss and it’s important for mom to stay healthy too. The weight will come off when your body is ready to let it go. Rushing it will just make you feel run down.

According to the Celebrity Baby Blog not all celebrities have nannies. Their year end round-ups have lists of the celebrities who co-sleep, cloth diaper, wear their babies, and breastfeed. Like I’ve said before, I’m not necessarily an AP parent, but my husband and I are definitely attached parents and still occasionally co-sleep, wear our toddler, breastfeed and we’ve recently added cloth diapering to our list so it’s interesting to see which celebrities are more down to earth than you’d think.

Co-sleeping Celebs
Angelina Jolie co-sleeps with her kids. She told Esquire magazine that she slept with Maddox until Brad came along and sleeps with Pax, her most recently adopted child, to make him comfortable.

Kevin Kline and Phoebe Cates and their kids, 16 and 13, still share a bed. I certainly hope they don’t share it every night because while I’m all for co-sleeping, I think co-sleeping with two teenagers regularly is pretty weird. My own hang-ups aside he told OK! magazine, “There is a theory that a child has to teach itself to go to sleep, and if every time it cries, you whisk them out of their bed — the jury is still out on that. But our kids still sleep in our bed.”

Baby Wearing Celebrities
Plenty of celebrities wear their babies in slings, pouches and mei tais including Julia Roberts, Gwen Stefani, Sara Gilbert, Lisa Leslie, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Keri Russell, and Annabeth Gish who said, “What I always loved seeing was mothers with their slings and the Baby Bjorn – the carrying things. I really like the Maya, the Moby, and the New Native. I like the Maya the best.”

Cloth diapering Celebs

Dave Matthews has spoken about cloth diapers for his son August Oliver saying, “I think diapers might be the No. 3 piece of garbage [in terms of environmental damage]…so if you have a little cloth diaper service nearby, that’s good.”

Maggie Gyllenhaal also cloth diapers. Her brother Jake spoke about changing his niece Ramona’s organic, tie-on cloth diapers on Conan O’Brien

Josie Maran uses gDiapers, a cloth/disposable hybrid.

Breastfeeding Celebrities

The Motherwear Breastfeeding Blog recently wrote about celebrity breastfeeding activists citing Maggie Gyllenhal who proudly nursed in public despite being stalked by the paparazzi, Gwen Stefani, Jennifer Gardner who breastfed baby Violet for 14 months, and Keri Russell who attributes her post-partum weight loss to breastfeeding. And let’s not forget about kind of creepy Will Ferrell who talked about his wife’s breast pump during an interview at the Golden Globes this year.

Stork magazine has a very cool article with photos featuring model Jessica Hebert breastfeeding her daughter. My favorite photo is the one of Jessica and her daughter with both of them completely naked. It was so artfully done and is simply beautiful.

Stork also has a great article titled Latching on to a Lactation Consultant which provides helpful information for finding a good consultant. As the articles states,

You may want to consider some of the following questions: Can you relate to this person, either in terms of personality or lifestyle or both? Do you feel you connect with this person and that she understands a bit about who you are as a person? If she runs a support group, attend that group once when you are still pregnant. Observe the types of questions that are asked and the answers the consultant gives. Does she really listen to the women in the group? Does she seem to give individualized advice or generalized bits of information to the new mothers? Much like a great personal trainer, a good consultant will help you define your breastfeeding style and meet your breastfeeding goals. She should be confident, creative, considerate and cheer you on. Don’t settle for less than that at this fragile time.

I can’t agree more with the premise that you should find someone with whom you click. I’ve heard so many stories about new mothers not getting along with their LC and that can really hamper a new mother’s efforts towards breastfeeding. I was fortunate in that I really got on quite well with both of the consultants at my hospital - I can’t imagine how much more stressful it could have been had I not cared for them.

Awhile back, I had written about Maggie Gyllenhaal “getting caught” breastfeeding in public. At the time, there was a lot of discussion whether she meant to be photographed like that. After these recent photos emerged of her again baring it all with public breastfeeding, I think it’s safe to say she knows exactly what she’s doing. Bravo to her! Actresses get paid the Big Bucks to bare their breasts on film. Why shouldn’t she be allowed to do it for free AND for a “good cause”?

1. Remedies
The main purpose of the previous post was to just point out different solutions. I know so many gals that used lanolin and it worked for them, but I also know so many gals for whom lanolin did not work. I’ve also heard that skin tone can made a big, big difference (i.e. fair, light-skinned gals may have a harder time initially). My primary complaint is that I wish the gel pads were offered on par with lanolin. I just came across a poll that listed “best gifts for nursing mothers” and gel pads weren’t even an option. I will be curious if I get cracked nipples this time around now that I will be going with Soothies from the very beginning - I’ll definitely report back!

2. Support groups
I came across this article about a group of local women in Canada who have banded together to provide even phone support for new mothers. The article brought tears to my eyes, but perhaps that was merely the pregnancy hormones kicking into high gear. When I was a new mother, I knew I was very fortunate to have such a good support group at my hospital AND my sister on speed dial (#5, Home Phone and #9, Cell Phone!). Since I was so grateful for the superb support that I received, I made an extra effort to continue attending the support group at my hospital long after I really needed it. I am hoping to be able to do so again this time around and am even trying to get a day school slot for my son on the day the group meets so that I won’t be dragging a 20 month old around all those newborns (new moms are a nervous bunch and sometimes don’t appreciate a toddler’s “gentle” touch to their baby’s oh-so-precious soft spot. I don’t blame them, either!). I think it is undisputed that La Leche League is unparalleled in what they have achieved in promoting breastfeeding and supporting new mothers. However, many mothers are very intimidated by the group and are hesitant to attend meetings. Yes, this is sad and I think some of the radical reputation attributed to LLL is unfounded and undeserved. Regardless, it remains a fact that many new mothers aren’t attending LLL meetings and in that vein, I get excited whenever I see alternative options for new mothers.

3. Massachusetts Gets a Clue?
I was very excited to see that Massachusetts is mulling a breastfeeding law! This is personal to me, actually. My husband started a new business a few months ago and for a variety of reasons it is currently based out of the Boston area. If this new business takes off, there is a very likely possibility that we will move to that area next year. Anyway, my breastfeeding experiences in Boston have all been positive, but it would still be nice to see a law out there.

4. Not Quite Sure I Want to Celebrate THIS Celebrity
I saw this bit from Larry the Cable Guy and he is discussing his take on his son’s apparent unappreciative nature towards breastfeeding. It IS funny and I do think the Blue Collar Comedy Tour guys are pretty entertaining. Still….

In celebrity news, I came across this article about Maggie Gyllenhaal and within the article, there is a snap of her breastfeeding her daughter, Ramona. The photo took my breath away. Seriously. It is such a beautiful shot. Then, I read all the rude, spiteful, nasty comments. Bah. My first reaction was that it was incredible invasion of privacy on the part of Gyllenhaal’s, but realistically, she probably knew the shot was going to happen. I have to wonder if she didn’t do it on purpose to make a statement. After all, there are TONS of paparazzi shots of her out and about with her daughter. She must be aware that of that.

By the way, the title refers to me. I’ve mentioned before that I am totally down with public nursing, just use a blanket. Officially, I’d like to retract that statement because this little photo made me realize my own hypocrisy (yep, I do that sometimes. Chalk it up to personal growth or something). Just yesterday, I was watching an episode of the Sopranos which provided the usual full-on breast shot. I am also a HUGE fan of Sex and the City. I wonder how many of the commenters who made all the mean comments are also HBO fans?

Those folks need to get a clue. I sure did.