Nursing Your Kids

The ideal is that breastfeeding becomes the norm, not something that requires legislation. My hope is that some day breastfeeding is something that women just do, not something they feel embarrassed about, debate about on message boards, call others nazis over, or think is gross. Breastfeeding is how babies should be fed. Other food sources should be used if breastfeeding isn’t possible, but breastfeeding should be the universally accepted way to feed a child.

Halton, a Canadian city, is helping to make that happen.

Halton opens arms to breastfeeding moms

Hamilton has no immediate plans to launch a similar program.

The news story about the woman causing the scene in the courthouse got me thinking. Breastfeeding is normal and natural and there is nothing sexual about it. I don’t understand the segment of the population who feels that it’s something that should only be done in private. Babies need to eat and mothers need to leave the house. When my 6 week old is hungry I feed him. (When my 2 year old demands “mommy’s milk” which I know he actually doesn’t want I ignore him. ) But it’s not something I want to make a scene over.

Even if he actually wanted to nurse properly instead of just playing with the clasp on my nursing bra I wouldn’t let my 2 year-old nurse in public simply because he doesn’t need my milk for nourishment; he could just as easily have a drink of water and a sandwich if he was hungry. Letting him nurse in public would be more about proving a point than anything else. If Sam really needed or wanted to nurse I’d find a more private, discreet place to let him rather than whipping it out in the middle of Target like I would with Ben. It’s not because I think there’s something wrong with nursing a toddler, it’s because I know my son and I know he can wait. If he was a toddler who still nursed regularly, for comfort and/or a drink, I’d be more apt to let him nurse in public because it would be something that was normal for him. But for a kid who only nursed as a toddler in the early mornings or at bedtime, nursing in broad daylight in a public place would have been weird for both of us.

I’m getting off topic here. What I’m trying to get at, is that since I’ve become a mother, specifically a nursing mother, I’ve been hyper-aware of public breastfeeding since I make it a point to leave my house on a daily basis. The majority of the mothers I know don’t cover up with blankets and don’t leave public areas to feed their babies. But they also don’t make it a point to draw attention to the fact that they are nursing. Some women are such fierce breastfeeding advocates that they feel it’s their job to loudly educate people about their rights and the benefits of breastfeeding every time someone glances at them while they feed their kids. I don’t see how that helps the cause. It’s already protected- why fight about it?

If someone stares at me while I’m nursing I ignore him or her. If someone says something about me nursing I ignore him or her. Nursing in public is something that I feel I should be able to do without whispers or stares. So I feed my baby and ignore the rest. I’ve never been directly confronted (only whispered about), but if someone were to confront me I’d calmly and quietly tell them that the state of Pennsylvania allows me to feed my child in any public or private place. Getting loud about it and making a scene, getting defensive about it would only make it seem like I’m doing something I should not.

I came across this odd story out of Tennessee. My comments after the article, but make sure you watch the video.

Breastfeeding Controversy at Rutherford County Courthouse-Erika Lathon

Breastfeeding in public isn’t against the law but a Murfreesboro woman says it nearly got her arrested.

In this case, they point out that despite being disruptive, Rankins was allowed to leave on her own without being arrested.

Ordinarily I feel it’s my job to side with the mother, but after watching this video I can’t help but think Rankins was out to make a scene. I don’t know what precipitated the complaints that caused the deputy to ask her to move, but I’m sure that once she was asked to cover up she did get loud and she did disrupt court, even from outside of the courtroom. Breastfeeding in public is protected in Tennessee, a point that could have been made without yelling. A simple reminder of the law should suffice when confronted.

After 5 long, painful weeks Sam finally seems to have adjusted to his baby brother. The last few days he’s been an absolute pleasure again and we’re enjoying our sweet boy again. All of his unsavory behaviors have slowed if not stopped entirely. I no longer fear for Ben’s safety when Sam comes over to give him a kiss.

Breastfeeding has become almost easy. The excruciating pain of Ben latching on stopped sometime after the mastitis got better. I still produce a great deal of milk; when I pump, which is rare, I’m able to pump 4 or 5 ounces in about 10 minutes using my Medela Harmony manual pump. But I’m no longer painfully engorged all of the time. When Ben’s nursing on one side I still leak like crazy on the other, but it’s nothing like it was just a few weeks ago.

Ben doesn’t seem to mind taking bottles. He’s had a few with no ill effects and doesn’t seem to care that the milk’s not coming directly from the source. He also seems to like a pacifier. I don’t really give it to him, but Bob does when I’m not around and it does the trick.

Poop, one of those things parents (especially mothers) find themselves talking about entirely too often, is something else I should mention. After pooping a dozen times a day, Ben’s system has finally slowed down. He’s now pooping in greater volume just once or twice a day. I am thrilled that cloth diapers contain the runny breastmilk poo much better than disposable diapers. When Sam was a baby I had to change his entire outfit just about every time he pooped since it would inevitably shoot all the way up his back to his neck. With cloth we haven’t had a single blowout.

I tried to post this last wee but the site has been down forever and I couldn’t log in to do it. So here it is now.

My baby is one month old. It’s kind of tough to do a monthly update for a month because at one month not much happens. Babies are still so fetal, and my little one-month-old is no exception. But he’s getting so, so big. He’s grown out of some of his diapers already and moved to a more generous snap setting on the diapers that were so huge just a few weeks before. His face is losing that newborn puffiness and starting to look more like the baby he’s going to become. His hair, while still dark, has lightened considerably from black to brown. His eyes are still a dark navy blue, a blue that makes me wonder what color his eyes will become.

He still spends the majority of the day sleeping, but when he’s awake he spends his time looking around with those dark blue eyes. He’s mostly calm and content and very rarely cries for reasons I can’t figure out immediately. He’s a good sleeper and naps on his own for hours at a time in his crib, the pack n play in my bedroom, or on a mat on the floor. At night he wakes to eat twice between 11 and 6 but generally goes back to sleep immediately after nursing for a few minutes. Last night he pleased me by sleeping for a good six-hour stretch. I am grateful.

He nurses quickly and efficiently and doesn’t spend a lot of time just hanging out on the breast, which I really appreciate. The quick and efficient nursing makes him pretty gassy which leads to spectacular spit ups once or twice a day. It’s astounding how much liquid can spew from a newborn’s mouth without them really noticing or caring. The pooping seems to have slowed down, and while there’s still plenty of poop (one of the downsides of parenting) I no longer have to change three diapers in a 30-minute period because of it.

The poor little guy hasn’t had the best health so far. He’s already had a staph infection, a nasty yeast rash (which the other pediatrician in the office told me was not yeast when I brought him in the first time. Two days later she wrote me the prescription for the yeast cream and it promptly went away), and now he’s got a cough. The same cough his brother and I both have. It’s awful to hear his little body coughing, especially since I know how much it hurts. But it hasn’t seemed to affect his mood and it hasn’t affected his sleep.

He’s really pretty strong. He surprised everyone by lifting his head and looking around immediately after his birth and he’s continued to show off his impressive head control since. When he’s on his belly he pushes up on his arms and looks around. He’s also got strong legs. Sometimes when he sleeps he’ll push himself several inches forward. One day he turned a full 90 degrees. I’ve also seen him turn from his back to his side. He’s so advanced. (doesn’t every parent say that about their kid?)

My little baby is growing up. It’s amazing how easily and how immediately we loved him. I’ll miss the newborn stage when it’s over. I love how soft and cuddly he is and how perfectly he fits under my chin. But I can’t wait to see what he’ll be like as he grows.

When it comes to milk production I am a champ to the point of embarrassment. Yesterday all of my nursing pads were in the wash. I was at home alone so I figured I’d just hang out and if I leaked a little it was no big deal. I was wrong. Within 20 minutes my entire belly was soaked and I had huge wet circles on my shirt reaching from my breast to my waist.

This extra milk production is probably the cause of my mastitis. Ben eats when he’s hungry and I can’t force him to take any more when he’s not. I haven’t been engorged this past week, but I’ve definitely been full and block nursing is the only way to ensure each breast gets emptied. That means one side is visibly larger than the other and depending on how long he waits between feedings, one side is noticeably lumpier and wetter than the other. I can’t pump for relief since that will just encourage production, so when he nurses on one side I have to make sure I have a burp cloth nearby to catch the drips that sometimes soak through my nursing pads.

Since Ben’s my second child I’m better at anticipating my flow so I’m less likely to squirt milk across the room when he latches. But I still have no way of controlling the flow when he unexpectedly lets go mid-feeding. The poor little guy’s hair is often plastered to his head with breastmilk.

The biggest problem is that the force of the flow laves little Benny gaping for breath and gassy. The kid can burp like a trucker.

Now that Benny is almost three weeks old it’s obvious that he’s a completely different baby than Sam was. I know that will come as no surprise to anyone with more than one child, and while I certainly didn’t expect him to be just like Sam, the differences are still surprising.

First of all, they look completely different. Sam, who was bald until recently, is blond and light eyed with skin so pale it makes me wonder how he could have come out of olive-complected me. Ben is darker, with tons of hair, skin like mine, and dark blue eyes that are sure to change color. He’s also bigger, so much bigger than Sam was.

The next huge difference is that Ben sleeps by himself in a crib. He naps for hours without being in a swing, car seat, sling or stroller. It astounds me that I can have a child who actually sleeps in such conditions. I know that it won’t last forever. Habits change and all babies have sleep regressions, but right now I’m enjoying this while it lasts.

Nursing Ben is completely different from nursing Sam. Sam used to nurse for hours, falling asleep at the breast and crying for more when I tried to remove it from his mouth. He nursed around the clock, waking often to eat long, leisurely meals. The first few months of his life I didn’t have an hour to myself he nursed so often. Ben is a fast eater, taking huge noisy gulps of breastmilk then stopping to look around. He eats every few hours, sometimes taking a 3 or 4 hour nap before meals. It’s almost freeing.