Nursing Your Kids

Because motherhood has turned me into a hippie (see my first post about BPA) I’ve moved on to yet another cloth product- nursing pads. Instead of the crinkly, crunchy papery pads I used those first six months with Sam I decided to go for a softer, more environmentally friendly alternative. It’s not that the disposable pads didn’t work- they worked just fine. But now that we’re using cloth diapers it just doesn’t make sense to use a product that creates trash instead of something I can wash and reuse.

Not really knowing what to expect from washable nursing pads I read a bunch of reviews of the more popular brands and couldn’t really come up with any consensus. I imagine, that like the disposables, it’s a matter of personal preference. I know I don’t want anything plasticky, like Lily Padz- for some reason the idea of walking around with silicone stuck to my skin kind of creeps me out. I may want gel pads like Soothies for the first few weeks, but not so much afterwards. Since I had some overproduction issues I don’t want to run the risk of embarrassing leaks just using a simple cotton pad, so most of the washable pads available in drugstores are out.

So I turned to the cloth diaper message boards. Again, there was no consensus on which brands work the best, but people overwhelmingly recommended using pads that are backed in wool. Wool is used as a diaper cover because it’s absorbent, breathable, and doesn’t leak. The same principle applies to nursing pads. Everyone who uses them likes them. The only complaint is that they don’t always look right under shirts, but that applies to the disposable pads as well- I used a ton of different brands and never found one that didn’t show through a shirt.

I ended up buying a several pairs of organic bamboo velour pads with wool backing and a few pairs of thinner pads made from bamboo which is really soft. I’ve only leaked once so far this pregnancy, but I’m sort of looking forward to leaking again so I can see how well they work. The worst that can happen is that I won’t like them and I’ll have to sell them. Believe it or not, nursing pads, like cloth diapers have a pretty high resale value.

One of the things that made life with a newborn much easier for me was the purchase of a ring sling. When I was pregnant I registered for a Baby Bjorn, since I’d seen them everywhere. But Sam was too small to use it for weeks so I returned it and found myself desperately in need of a carrier. I’d read about Hotslings and Peanut Shell slings, so when Sam was about two weeks old I loaded him in the car and went on a mission to buy a carrier. We tried a Hotsling first. I plopped him in the pouch and bounced a bit to get him comfortable. He cried and fussed, but I decided to buy it anyway just in case he needed time to get used it.

We headed to the next place, The Breastfeeding Resource Center, to try out some other carrier options. Sam screamed the entire way there. When we got into the store I put on a Peanut Shell and stuck him in. He screamed even louder, seemingly outraged by the suggestion that he might actually enjoy being carried in it. Next I tried on an Over the Shoulder Baby Holder, the biggest, bulkiest, ugliest ring sling ever. I slipped him in and he immediately quieted. I asked if there was a place where I could sit down and feed him. One of the women offered me her office. I lifted my shirt and found with the sling I could nurse him discreetly and still have a free hand. He nursed for close to an hour and fell soundly asleep.

Clearly the choice of carriers had been made for me. I hated the Over the Shoulder Baby Holder. It was comfortable for a while, but I felt completely overwhelmed by the bulky padding. Even so, I wasn’t taking any chances with other carriers. I returned the Hotsling (which was too big anyway) and I stuck with the OTSBH which we used daily for the first year of Sam’s life. Using the sling I was able to nurse him without drawing attention to myself in a variety of places. We nursed at Sam’s Club, on the Yeungling Brewery Tour, Target, the beach, restaurants, and the dinner table. Sam nursed while I vacuumed, took long walks, did yoga and used the bathroom.

Buying a sling was one of the best moves I made. There are a ton of other slings and carriers available. I’ve already purchased a new, non-padded ring sling made by Sleeping Baby Productions and a Gypsy Mama water wrap for the new baby. When the baby is a little bigger I will probably buy some sort of Mei Tai or carrier with straps for back carries. You can buy some of the more popular brands online at Amazon or Target and there are countless smaller online and brick and mortar stores to buy and try as well. The Baby Wearer is an excellent place to read reviews of different types of carriers and get advice from seasoned baby wearing moms and dads.

Nursing Mother Supplies, a company that (duh) sells supplies for nursing mothers asked me to promote their Breastfeeding is Green Contest.

Get your saying on a t-shirt, win a $300 breastfeeding gift basket and help the environment all at the same time.

* The winning phrase will be printed on t-shirts and sold at nursingmothersupplies.com.
* All of the profit generated from the sale of t-shirts will be donated to charity.
* Fifty percent of the profit will be donated to La Leche League International to assist in its effort to promote breastfeeding.
* The other fifty percent will go to an environmental organization chosen by the winner.

You can read more about how to enter and the contest rules at their website.

Also from their website is this list of reasons why breastfeeding is green:

While it is common knowledge that breast milk is the best source of food for babies, many people are not aware that breastfeeding is great for the environment. Do you know how truly green it is to breastfeed? Consider the following:

1. The fabrication of artificial baby milk is an inefficient use of land. Each cow used to produce baby formula needs 10,000 square meters of land, which leads to deforestation and soil erosion.

2. The manufacturing of packaging for artificial baby milk creates toxin and uses paper, plastic and tin. For every 3 million bottle-fed babies, 450 million tins of formula are consumed. The metal in the tin cans is not recyclable.

3. The manufacturing of artificial baby milk contaminates water. The sewage from dairy cows and fertilizers used to grow feed for cows pollutes rivers and ground waters.

4. The production of artificial baby milk, baby bottles, nipples and other bottle-feeding accessories require a great amount of energy worldwide. Not to mention it takes vast amounts of water used clean used bottles on a daily basis.

5. The transportation of the raw materials for the manufacturing of formula and the transportation to and from the store use up precious fuel and create CO2 emissions.

6. Breastfeeding is a natural birth control. Women who are exclusively breastfeeding for the first six months after childbirth have a less than one percent chance of getting pregnant. This helps to control the world’s population.

7. Mothers who exclusively breast feed have their menstruation delayed, saving on insurmountable amounts of paper used in sanitary products. The nursing baby uses breast milk efficiently therefore they have fewer diapers. Producing diapers, tampons and pads require fibers, bleaches, packaging, and fuel used in the manufacturing and distribution, especially if cloth alternatives are not used.

And the list goes on.

A Utah couple recently lost their second child. Their first child died in 2003 after accidental asphyxiation while sleeping in her parent’s bed. The second child, whose cause of death was undetermined, died in the night sleeping between his parents. The couple is being charged with child-abuse homicide. According to court documents, the couple was warned against co-sleeping by their pediatrician the day before their child’s death. From the Salt Lake Tribune:

Prosecutors and health officials say the case should serve as a reminder to parents to put their kids to bed in a crib, in part because studies have found connections between bedsharing and SIDS, sudden infant death syndrome.

“If you do it safely, the risks are so low. The fear is really taken out of it,” said Melissa Knighton, a Salt Lake City mother who sleeps with her 19-month-old daughter, Abigail, and uses a crib to store toys. “By just saying, ‘The child died of co-sleeping,’ that doesn’t tell us anything at all. There’s dangerous ways to crib sleep, too.”

I don’t know what to make of this. First of all, I can’t imagine the grief this family must be feeling. But I’m not sure about whether it’s right to prosecute them for parenting. I don’t know the circumstances of how they slept. I don’t know if the parents are drug or alcohol users/abusers, if they sleep in a fluffy bed full of pillows, down comforters and feather beds, if they’re obese or if they’ve just been the victims of misfortune. Without knowing more details about the sleeping arrangements it’s difficult to determine whether this was a form of child-abuse homicide.

Salt Lake County District Attorney Lohra Miller - who said she nursed her children and occasionally fell asleep, only to startle awake - said her office is not out to prosecute co-sleeping parents when deaths occur.

The couple were reportedly heavy sleepers, and advocates advise against co-sleeping in such cases.

We co-slept off and on for the first year of Sam’s life. I didn’t want to at first because I was terrified of SIDS, but nighttime nursing sessions inevitably ended up with both of us falling asleep. I’d startle awake and transfer him to the pack n play beside our bed six or seven times a night. But then I found myself startling awake to check to make sure he was breathing. If I couldn’t hear him or couldn’t feel his little chest rise and fall I’d panic and hover above him looking for signs of movement. As sleep deprivation took its toll it became easier to just adjust his swaddle and put him on his back beside me. Then I read some arguments in favor of co-sleeping.

Here are the preliminary findings based on mother-infant pairs studied in the sleep-sharing arrangement versus the solitary-sleeping arrangement (Elias 1986, McKenna 1993, Fleming 1994; Mosko 1994):

Even though these studies are being conducted in sleep laboratories instead of the natural home environment, it’s likely that within a few years enough mother-infant pairs will be studied to scientifically validate what insightful mothers have long known: something good and healthful occurs when mothers and babies share sleep. (read the full article at Dr. Sears’ website)

Dr. Sears and other co-sleeping advocates made me feel better about my choice to keep Sam in bed beside me. We took all precautions, making sure that no pillows or blankets were close to Sam and always placed him on his back. Nighttime wakings were frequent, but rolling over to nurse became second nature and I no longer had to fully awaken. When he started sleeping for longer, six-hour stretches when he was about four or five months old we moved him to a crib in his own room, next door to ours. Each night when he’d wake up to nurse I’d bring him into bed with me where he’d stay until morning. We kept this arrangement up until he was close to a year old and no longer slept well in bed beside me.

I truly believe that co-sleeping is beneficial for mothers and babies when done safely.

The research on bedsharing and infant death is mixed. A 2005 study of SIDS deaths in Scotland found the largest risk occurred when parents slept with infants on a couch and when the baby was less than 11 weeks old. Other studies have found a higher risk of SIDS with infants of low birth weights, among mothers who smoked, among parents have consumed alcohol or are overtired.

Supporters of co-sleeping often cite James McKenna, director of the Mother-Baby Behavioral Sleep Laboratory at the University of Notre Dame. He says a blanket admonishment is simplistic and confuses “normal, healthy human behavior” with pathology.

I’m sure that co-sleeping is dangerous if you’re drunk or stoned or on a soft, fluffy couch. But for the parents who aren’t reckless, for parents who sleep together with their child mindfully and safely, co-sleeping allows for a good night’s sleep and provides bonding time for working parents who don’t always have the luxury of spending time with their baby during the day.

To sleep safely with your child:

For more information on co-sleeping safely, the benefits of co-sleeping and the risks, Sleeping with Your Baby is an excellent resource.

First up a video from Fox News Boston. If you don’t feel like clicking over, the story is that a woman brought her five kids to Old Country Buffet for lunch. She wanted to nurse her youngest privately in the banquet room. The lights were on in the room and the doors were open, but the woman was told by a waitress that the room was closed. She and her family were seated in the center of the restaurant. She asked the waitress and the manager if she could just nurse her son in the room, but according to her story she was told no by both employees and that she had to nurse her son at her table. She wants an apology. The manager claims she never said she wanted to breastfeed in the banquet room. The waitress claims she told the woman she could breastfeed in the room but they couldn’t eat their meals in the room. An apology is unlikely since Massachusetts has no public breastfeeding laws.

My take is that the woman doesn’t deserve an apology. She wasn’t asked to leave the restaurant she was just told she couldn’t use a private section to do so. The restaurant was perfectly comfortable with her nursing her child. She wasn’t. I can understand why the restaurant employees wouldn’t allow her entire family to eat in a closed section. The section wasn’t staffed and opening it to her family would encourage others to eat there as well. It sounds to me like the woman just wanted a private section where all of her children could eat undisturbed. What do you think?

The next story out of Albany is about a woman, Kristin Kelly, who was asked to leave the New York State Museum by an employee. She stopped to nurse her child on a bench, covered up with three blankets, and a woman wearing a name tag who looked like a museum employee told Kelly she was offended and that she should nurse her child in the bathroom. Kelly kept breastfeeding her son, but she was upset and embarrassed by the incident.

The museum’s response was that based on Kelly’s description the woman who asked her to move was probably not a museum employee. They also want to stress that they are family friendly and women are welcome to breastfeed wherever they want. New York state laws protect a woman’s right to breastfeed wherever they want.

It sounds to me like the woman who asked Kelly to move was probably not a museum staff member, but if she was I think the museum’s response was appropriate. It sucks to feel nervous and embarrassed when you’re trying to feed your child in public, but it’s good to know the museum was on Kelly’s side. But three blankets! She really wanted to make sure she was adequately covered. I’ve always found that the more you try and hide what you’re doing the more attention it seems to draw. I’d like to recommend a Hooter Hider. They’re lightweight, stylish, and you only need one to cover up completely.

When I first saw the title of the article, ‘Breast is best’ message flawed, I was a bit concerned that I’d be reading something about how formula is just as good as breast milk, and that breastfeeding is somehow causing women to feel inadequate. There’s so much backlash against breastfeeding advocates these days that I’m prone to worry when I see such a curiously titled article. But a scientist out of the University of Wollongong says that the use of the phrase “Breast is best” to promote breastfeeding is misleading and fails to communicate the importance of breastfeeding, an opinion I can get behind.

“In fact, these messages may have obscured the importance of breastfeeding to infant and maternal health and the well-established risks associated with early weaning from breastfeeding,” Ms Berry said. “To say that ‘breast is best’ is to suggest that what breastfeeding offers is a handful of optional bonuses and that formula-fed infants are the normal standard for comparison. In fact, human babies were designed to be fed human milk.”

The point about using breastfed babies as the control group, not the exception, when conducting research is especially important. Many of my friends who breastfed had children who were smaller than average according to the percentile charts. Some of these babies had to go to the doctor on a weekly basis for weight checks, causing their mothers to worry needlessly. The percentile charts used are based on formula fed babies, babies who are generally heavier than their breastfed counterparts. Using the WHO breastfed baby charts as a rule could eliminate some of this needless worry.

A few weeks ago Casey from The Beautiful Letdown awarded me an Excellent Blogger award. I was touched by the gesture then promptly forgot about it because maybe I’m not so excellent after all. In my defense we suffered through illness and sleep deprivation and pregnancy brain since the award was given, but I’m still a bit of a slacker. So without further ado, I’ll do my part and pass on the blog love and present the Excellent Blogger award to the following blogs/bloggers.

1. Ladybug’s Picnic- we’re currently pregnant together for the second time and after meeting her in person this weekend she was nice enough to not blog about my child smashing a bottle of wine on her dining room floor.

2. EditorMom- Katharine’s blog is interesting and timely and she’s as good a commenter as she is a blogger. She should also win an Excellent commenter award.

3. Chutes and Ladders- I started reading Brooke’s blog after she left a comment here. She is funny. I appreciate that in a blogger.

4. Safe Mama- Motherhood has turned me into a hippie and this website helps me make safe choices for my family. Check out the cheat sheets in the sidebar for links to safe bottles, sippies and pthalate-free items.

5. One More Moore- I found this blog through my online expecting club and I am awed by her talent. Check out the lovely items she makes on her blog then buy them at her etsy store.

6. The Yummy Mummy Cooks Gourmet- I read a lot of food blogs for my Kids Dish site and this one is the perfect blend of kids and food. Kim’s writing is funny and her recipes are always interesting.

7. Babygadget- If I had unlimited funds I would buy just about everything Babygadget links to. Their bloggers have a sharp eye for design and find the most stunning toys, furniture, gear and everything else for kids.

8. Farm to Philly- I should be posting to the site, but pregnancy has seriously interfered with my desire and ability to seek out local foods. Luckily there are plenty of other more devoted locavores to take up the slack. February is the Tofu Challenge month. Who knew there was locally made tofu in Philly?

9. Smitten Kitchen- 9 out of 10 recipes I try and post about at Kids Dish come straight from the pages of Smitten Kitchen. Yum.

10. The Twinkies- Stacie nurses twins. I can’t even imagine. She’s already gotten one of these, but I’m still so impressed by the nursing of the twins that I can’t help but give it again.

The Mother’s Milk Bank of New England won the contest at Ideablob!

Tanya at the Motherwear breastfeeding blog writes:

The Mothers Milk Bank of New England won $10,000 in the Ideablob contest! The official announcement was made today at an event in Boston.

Thank you many times over to everyone who voted, who encouraged friends and family to vote, who blogged about it, and who wished us luck! You made a big difference for the milk bank and for families in our region.

The milk bank plans to open this May. Here’s some info from their site about the donation process.

Mothers who have more milk than they need and want to donate have to pass the health requirements, including a written medical history, notes from the mothers’ and babies’ doctors, and a blood test to ensure neither are carrying a communicable disease. Things that could disqualify a mom from being eligible to donate include women who drink more than 2 ounces of alcohol a day regularly and those who use tobacco products. A mom must be willing to donate at least 100 ounces of milk and her baby needs to be less than a year old. Mothers who choose to donate pump their milk at home and store it in the freezer. When they are ready to give the milk, they put it in a special cooler and ship it frozen overnight to the milk bank so it doesn’t spoil. Bar-Yam said at the bank the milk is thawed, tested, pasteurized, refrozen and shipped to the babies who need it, mostly premature and hospitalized.

I think I’m now officially the last breastfeeding blogger to post this, but just in case you haven’t seen it, I’m posting it again.

Breast milk contains stem cells

“The point is that many mothers see milks as identical – formula milk and breast milk look the same so they must be the same. But we know now that they are quite different and a lot of the effects of breast milk versus formula don’t become apparent for decades. Formula companies have focussed on matching breast milk’s nutritional qualities but formula can never provide the developmental guidance.”

Read the rest of the article here.

Nursing an infant has a learning curve. Obviously I’ve only ever nursed one so far, but I’m assuming that I’ll still have several (or more) weeks where nursing #2 has it’s challenged. There are struggles with latch, the questions of where to put the oh-so-necessary nursing pads, the trouble to find a comfortable position, and of course the struggle of how to nurse a floppy infant discreetly. Once you and your baby get used to each other it’s easy to nurse in a variety of places and a variety of positions and have most people assume you’re just holding your sleeping baby. (Unless your baby is a noisy, active eater. I can’t help you with that one.) But until then it’s tough, especially for a first time mom who’s nervous to begin with.

Do you really need shirts specially made for breastfeeding? No, like nursing bras you don’t need them, but they certainly do make things easier when they’re well made. When Sam was first born I had a small selection of nursing bras and a few ill-fitting nursing camisoles. The bras made nursing in public- and public is relative when you’re swamped with visitors those first few weeks- much easier, but it still left the question of exposing the floppy, post partum skin around my waist when I lifted my shirt. The ill-fitting nursing camisoles solved the problem of the exposed skin around my waist, but they were uncomfortable because they didn’t fit well and exposed a whole lot of flesh up top when they were unsnapped.

The moment when I knew it was necessary to buy something well-made was when I realized I had to bring my 6-week-old to a wedding. I was in the height of overproduction and Sam was nursing every two hours or less. The dress I was planning on wearing to the wedding (which I was in!) didn’t fit very well and would have required me to take it off to feed Sam. I knew there was no way I’d ever be able to relax unless I got something appropriate to wear. I went to my local upscale maternity store and bought a simple black skirt and matching top. Since all of the bridesmaids were wearing black dresses that didn’t match anyway, I blended right in with the bridal party and got to enjoy myself at my best friend’s wedding.

Eventually I decided to bite the bullet and just buy a few nice, nursing tops for the other occasions when we’d be out and I wanted a combination of subtlety and fashion. They really made all of the difference in my comfort level. I got a few tops from Japanese Weekend and a Glamourmom tank which solved all of the exposure problems of the ill-fitting camisoles. The JW tops were pricy, but they made nursing out and about so, so easy. I think that this time I’ll try to buy one more Glamourmom tank and another nursing top. I may even treat myself to a bathing suit with easy breastfeeding access. (need any info on sunscreen?)

It’s such a relief that there are so many places to buy stylish clothes that make breastfeeding easy. Some of my favorites are the two I linked to above, Motherwear, and the new line by Gap.

And if I bring the new baby to either of the weddings we attend this summer I may just have to buy this dress.

I started getting sick on Superbowl Sunday. We were on our way to a party and I could feel my head begin to fog over. Since Sam was with us we didn’t stay at the party too long, but by the time we got home I was officially sick.

Monday morning I was so foggy I could barely function. Sam was fine and I knew I’d never survive without him taking a nap so I took him out to the children’s museum for the morning, being careful to sanitize my hands at every sanitizing station and making sure to cough into my sleeve so as not to infect the other children. By the end of our two-hour visit I needed a nap more than Sam did. By evening I was running a fever.

My mother-in-law came over Tuesday morning so I could take a nap, but I still had a slight fever by evening and Sam had gotten my cough and stuffy nose. By Wednesday morning, after a mostly sleepless night for the entire family, Sam had a fever and was as miserable as I was.

I’m not usually a baby when I’m sick. I don’t whine about it and I’ll generally just pop some ibuprofen and get on with my life. Most of my illnesses just last a few days anyway. But being sick when you’re pregnant is tough. And being sick when you have to take care of a sick toddler is tougher. Aside from the fact that Sam’s been waking at night whether he’s sick or not, I’ve been waking up several times a night because I’m pregnant. Last night I was in bed with Sam by 9 after he’d woken up miserable in his own bed. By 7 this morning I’d been out of bed half a dozen times to use the bathroom and Sam in his restless, feverish state had woken me up another half a dozen times.

The thought of doing this with two kids is terrifying.

On a lighter note, here’s a recipe for chicken noodle soup and a picture from the always hilarious Lol cats.

ABC News reported on phthalates in baby products. Like reports on BPA, I find this alarming.

Some environmental medicine experts worry that parents using any one of dozens of baby products could be exposing their children to chemicals that could hurt their reproductive ability later on in life.

I keep going back and forth between using expensive, all-natural products for Sam’s bath and deciding I can’t spend $11 on a small bottle of bubble bath. But I think I’m going to have to suck it up and shell out the big bucks or figure out how to make something natural and effective myself.