Nursing Your Kids

According to the Celebrity Baby Blog not all celebrities have nannies. Their year end round-ups have lists of the celebrities who co-sleep, cloth diaper, wear their babies, and breastfeed. Like I’ve said before, I’m not necessarily an AP parent, but my husband and I are definitely attached parents and still occasionally co-sleep, wear our toddler, breastfeed and we’ve recently added cloth diapering to our list so it’s interesting to see which celebrities are more down to earth than you’d think.

Co-sleeping Celebs
Angelina Jolie co-sleeps with her kids. She told Esquire magazine that she slept with Maddox until Brad came along and sleeps with Pax, her most recently adopted child, to make him comfortable.

Kevin Kline and Phoebe Cates and their kids, 16 and 13, still share a bed. I certainly hope they don’t share it every night because while I’m all for co-sleeping, I think co-sleeping with two teenagers regularly is pretty weird. My own hang-ups aside he told OK! magazine, “There is a theory that a child has to teach itself to go to sleep, and if every time it cries, you whisk them out of their bed — the jury is still out on that. But our kids still sleep in our bed.”

Baby Wearing Celebrities
Plenty of celebrities wear their babies in slings, pouches and mei tais including Julia Roberts, Gwen Stefani, Sara Gilbert, Lisa Leslie, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Keri Russell, and Annabeth Gish who said, “What I always loved seeing was mothers with their slings and the Baby Bjorn – the carrying things. I really like the Maya, the Moby, and the New Native. I like the Maya the best.”

Cloth diapering Celebs

Dave Matthews has spoken about cloth diapers for his son August Oliver saying, “I think diapers might be the No. 3 piece of garbage [in terms of environmental damage]…so if you have a little cloth diaper service nearby, that’s good.”

Maggie Gyllenhaal also cloth diapers. Her brother Jake spoke about changing his niece Ramona’s organic, tie-on cloth diapers on Conan O’Brien

Josie Maran uses gDiapers, a cloth/disposable hybrid.

Breastfeeding Celebrities

The Motherwear Breastfeeding Blog recently wrote about celebrity breastfeeding activists citing Maggie Gyllenhal who proudly nursed in public despite being stalked by the paparazzi, Gwen Stefani, Jennifer Gardner who breastfed baby Violet for 14 months, and Keri Russell who attributes her post-partum weight loss to breastfeeding. And let’s not forget about kind of creepy Will Ferrell who talked about his wife’s breast pump during an interview at the Golden Globes this year.

I can’t even imagine being in this woman’s situation. Her baby was in coach with her partner while she was flying business class from Australia to San Francisco. Her baby was not allowed to enter business class to be breastfed. An international flight is hard enough when traveling with an infant without the added stress of not being able to feed your hungry baby.

Breast-feeding mum wins Qantas case

Mr Butcher ordered the airline to refund Ms Costello 50,500 frequent flyer points she had used to book a business class seat instead of one in economy.

Star-Gazette.com has a great article with great tips for nursing a baby during the holidays. Holidays are rough when you’re nursing, especially if you, like me, like to get a little drunk at holiday parties. Breastfeeding doesn’t mean you can’t drink. It just means you can’t drink very much.

It’s also tough to nurse an older infant. Nursing a newborn is easy. If you’re adept with slings and wraps you can nurse easily in the middle of the room without anyone knowing what you’re up to. But nursing an older toddler who’s aware of his/her surroundings is much harder. They don’t want to leave the party, especially if they’re surrounded by loving family and friends, and dragging them into a darkened room to nurse means you have to leave the party and your baby may be too angry to eat. Well, at least my baby was too mad to eat when I’d make him leave a party. He’d twist and turn and fuss and nurse for a minute before trying to escape. Then he’d melt down from hunger later and we’d have to try again.

I can’t speak to the unintentional weaning the article describes since Sam always refused a bottle, but people were always trying to slip him solids he wasn’t ready for. It’s tough to be vigilant when you just want to relax, but it’s better than having a well-intentioned aunt feeding your five-month-old pepperoni, cookies and peanut brittle.

Nursing isn’t always fun during parties and gatherings, but it can be safe and successful if you follow the articles tips.

•Remember that the holidays are family time and that your family includes your baby. Whenever possible, take your baby along with you. Babies are portable, especially when worn in a sling or wrap and they often become the highlight of the party. If you are not yet comfortable nursing in public or your baby just needs some quiet time, retire to a bedroom until he is settled and then rejoin the party.

•Prevent others from giving your baby tastes of holiday foods. One of the easiest ways to do this is to make sure that only you, or another trusted adult, are holding your baby when it is time to eat.

We’re back to napping in the car and the past three days have been lovely. Sam sleeps for close to two hours and aside from running back and forth to the window to check on him I get to rest. Because I don’t have to mess with wrestling him to sleep he’s been napping at a reasonable time instead of the late afternoon. Napping at a reasonable time means he can go to sleep at a reasonable time. He gets tired earlier and can go to sleep earlier. It doesn’t always work that way. But it’s nice to know it’s an option.

He hasn’t nursed at all since he bit me the other night. It’s nice having my breasts to myself again but I almost want him to nurse. I assume this is pregnancy related, but my breasts are especially heavy and full. I know that I can’t logically be engorged since I haven’t been nursing regularly for a good six months or more, but I feel engorged. When I’m in the shower I feel like I’m going to start leaking all over. So far it hasn’t happened, but it may not be far off.

In other non-breastfeeding news, we’ve officially made the switch to cloth diapers. I bought a bunch before Thanksgiving but they ended up being a bit too small so I took advantage of the sales and bought a stash of Fuzzi Bunz pocket diapers along with a couple of DryBees all-in-ones. I also picked up a few g-Diapers and disposable inserts to use when we’re out and I don’t want to cart around dirty diapers. I really like using the cloth so far, though I’m not sure the pocket diapers will be the best choice for a newborn. I’m glad I’m starting now so I’ll have an idea of what I’m getting into. I haven’t been brave enough to use the cloth for overnights, but the Fuzzi Bunz with two inserts kept everything contained for a three hour nap the other day.

After five days Operation Nap is officially over. I’d rather waste money on gas, pollute the environment and kill an hour of my day driving aimlessly than deal with the tears, screams, and misery of trying to make him nap indoors. If Bob can do it when he’s home I’m all for it, but I am too tired and (and my nipples are entirely too sensitive) to make the transition by myself.

Yesterday since it was nice out and we’d walked to a friends house to play I was hoping he’d fall asleep in the stroller. He was so furious about having to sit in the stroller that he screamed almost the entire way home. I asked if he wanted to nap in the car or in his bed. He said stroller. We walked a bit more but he kept screaming so we went home and rocked for a while. I won’t get into the play by play because it’s pretty much a repeat of the previous day’s performance. After an hour I decided to just let him watch “baby farm” a Baby Einstein animal video he’s become obsessed with the past few weeks.

Usually he’s miserable by the end of the day when he hasn’t had a nap and yesterday was no different. He was so out of control by bedtime we skipped his bath entirely. When I say out of control, I mean out of control. He was stiff and fighting and screaming and hurting himself in the process. Though I’ve seen him in similar states (on nap-free days, of course) Bob had never seen him have a tantrum like that. At 7.20 Bob said that he was so tired he’d be asleep in no time. I said that I’d be shocked if he was asleep by 8.30.

Eventually we wrestled him into his pajamas and sleep sack and got him to sit still for a story. Bob planned on putting him to bed, but he clearly wanted me and in his state I was afraid he’d never fall asleep if I left. He tossed and turned and cried and didn’t want me to touch him but didn’t want me to leave either. Not knowing what to do I asked if he wanted to nurse. He practically cried with relief at the suggestion, but as I unhooked my nursing bra he got angry again and started wailing, “uh-uh. Other side, other side. Uh-uh.” I knew it was a bad sign, but I let him nurse anyway.

He relaxed and his breathing got heavier and deeper. I moved him off of my lap and into bed as he nursed. After three or four minutes he loosened his latch. I thought he’d fallen asleep and was just letting go. Instead he clamped down on the protruding part of my nipple and refused to let go. I roughly shoved my fingers into his mouth, got him off of me, and left his room. I wanted to slam his door and shout, but I managed to contain my pain and rage and just walked into the other room instead. Bob went him and eventually got him to stop crying and go to sleep. He tried to leave the room, but Sam woke up crying so he stayed a bit longer, falling asleep himself. He emerged from Sam’s room, blinking in the light, around 10. I heard Sam wake and cry several times throughout the night, but he fell back to sleep on his own each time. It’s a good thing, because I wasn’t going in there.

Today Sam is going to nap in the car.

Yesterday Bob got Sam to sleep in his crib while I was out. I don’t know how he did it. He said that he rocked him until he fell asleep, put him in the crib and Sam woke up as soon as he hit the mattress. The heat guy was here to show Bob how to skim the boiler, so Bob left him to cry for a bit, came back, rocked him until he fell asleep, put him in the crib and he woke up again. Bob left for a second time, and repeated the process a bit later only this time Sam stayed asleep and napped for more than two hours.

The whole process, from rocking to two-hour nap took about 45 minutes. I don’t know how the circumstances were different from my approach, but Sam will not let me rock him without clawing and biting at my face.

Today Sam isn’t feeling well. He’s got a runny nose and a cough and doesn’t even want to play. After our gymnastics class I just didn’t have it in me to struggle to get him to sleep and because he’s not feeling well he needs his sleep. I don’t want exhaustion to make him sicker. I got him in the car, we drove our regular 20-minute loop and he was asleep after 15 minutes. My nipples are thanking me.

Since Bob was so successful I wonder if it would make more sense to put Operation Nap on hold for a few weeks until Bob’s Christmas vacation. Maybe if he got used to sleeping indoors he’d be more willing to let me get him down.

In response to comments on yesterday’s post, I want to clarify that the nursing down is not the issue. Of course I prefer not to nurse him down for naps, but I’m glad to do it if he’ll actually fall asleep. The problem is that he generally doesn’t fall asleep nursing for naps. He’ll just doze and chew on my nipple and become furious if I take it away. That’s why he’s been napping in the stroller or the car for close to a year now.

At nighttime breastfeeding is not an issue. He almost never nurses before bed at night and when he does he’ll stop nursing while still awake but drowsy and roll over to fall asleep on his stomach.

Sam’s only been nursing on a “don’t offer, don’t refuse” basis since June. He often goes for days at a time without showing any interest in my breasts and a lot of the time when he asks to nurse he’s so tired that he forgets he asked and rolls over before I even get my bra open. Unfortunately, even though he’s gone as many as ten days straight without nursing, I don’t think he’s going to wean completely any time soon. Especially with Operation Nap Indoors in full effect.

I don’t mind offering the breast for comfort when it’s not painful. At night he’s been pretty well-behaved on the occasions when he nurses. During the day it’s just horrendous. I have battle scars. So the two issues- napping indoors and breastfeeding are intertwined, but it’s not like I’m trying to make two major changes at once.

As for Operation Nap Day 3, I have a prenatal appointment at nap time and Bob will be home with Sam and possibly the guys who’ve been working on our heat. (We have no heat in our bedroom and a few other radiators in the house won’t work. We’d be screwed without space heaters and our wood stove. The current temperature in our house downstairs is 58 degrees except for in our laundry room and powder room where it’s so cold you can see your breath. The current temperature in the room with the wood stove on the second floor is 85.) If the heat guys are here I imagine it will be day three with no sleep. If they aren’t here Bob’s going to attempt to get him down in his bed. I’m sure you’ll be awaiting my update with bated breath.

Operation Nap Indoors day two was a bigger failure than day one. A very sleepy Sam and I read a few stories and rocked in the glider together. We got into bed and I rubbed his back. He said, “Up mama, up.” I explained again that it was nap time and we had to stay in bed. I held him and he struggled and cried. I whispered to him and shushed him and cuddled him and rubbed his back. He cried harder and harder.

I decided to try physically holding him down in the hopes he’d just collapse from exhaustion. He cried even harder and struggled, hitting me and pulling my hair. I explained to him again that it was nap time. He hit me again so I left the room and told him I’d be back in ten minutes. Ten minutes later he’d thrown several diapers, three books, and two hats over the gate.

He asked to nurse so I picked him up and brought him into bed. He nursed for a while and fell asleep. I tried to remove my breast from his mouth and he clamped down hard. I nudged him to relatch and he clamped down again. I suffered through for a few minutes until his breathing grew slow and heavy again and tried to remove myself again. His eyes opened wide and he cried, “nurse, nurse, nurse.” I switched to the other side. It was fine for a few minutes until he clamped down hard. I asked him to let go but eyes closed, he clamped harder and said no through his teeth. I burst into tears, stuck my finger into his mouth to unlatch him and sobbed in his bed while he cried to nurse more.

After I calmed down a bit I opened the gate and left the room. He followed me out and I’ve been crying on and off ever since. I don’t think this is going to work.

Sam hasn’t nursed to go down for a nap in at least six months now but that’s because I’d given up on indoor naps entirely and taken our naps on the road. When the weather was nice he’d nap in the stroller and when the weather was bad he’d nap in the car. Then I got pregnant and my energy level plummeted. Two hour walks trying to get him to sleep were out of the question. For the last three months he’s only napped in the car.

I kept thinking that things would change at some point. Eventually he’d be old enough to reason and just calmly accept that it was nap time and he’d get into bed and lie down. But then I came to my senses and realized that I was screwed unless I actively changed our nap routine. Of course I was too exhausted to actually do anything about it, but the idea was that when my energy returned in the second trimester changes would be made.

Well it’s the second trimester and I still don’t have any energy. For some inexplicable reason I decided that today is day one of operation nap indoors. I prepped him all morning for the indoor nap after lunch. I told him that he was going to take his nap in bed today and he shook his head no and said uh-uh each time I reminded him of the indoor nap. After story hour we came home, washed our hands and ate some lunch. I reminded him that it was nap time. Again he shook his head no and said uh-uh, but this time he started to cry. I brought him upstairs and into his room. He began to cry harder and say light on, shoes on. I turned on the sleepy time music and asked if he wanted to read a story.

We read two Curious George stories, turned on the music, got into bed and read Goodnight Moon a few times. Then I put the book down and tried to help him fall asleep. He started to cry immediately. The crying escalated until I did exactly what I didn’t want to do and asked him if he wanted to nurse. He said yes immediately and nursed calmly until he fell asleep. As soon as I removed my nipple from his mouth he woke up screaming and crying, “More, more, more.” I let him nurse a little longer until he was asleep again and the same thing happened only this time when I tried to extract myself he bit me. Hard. I tried to cuddle him a bit longer but the screams just got worse and he tried to bite a chunk out of my cheek. After the third time I told him to put his head down I left the room.

He cried for a while then started yelling, “Mama, bed.” I went into his room and he asked for his pajamas and sleep sack. I got him dressed for bed and he cuddled with me for a few minutes and asked to nurse again. I told him no, he started crying again, climbed out of bed and tried to unlatch the gate in his doorway. I told him I’d leave if he didn’t get back into bed. He said, “Mama stay,” but didn’t get into bed so I left.

That was ten minutes ago. We’re an hour and a half into the process now. He’s clearly not going to take a nap today. I don’t know what to do. He’s obviously exhausted and ready for a nap but doesn’t want me to help him fall asleep. I don’t want to get into the habit of nursing him to sleep and leaving my nipple in his mouth for as long as he’d like but I don’t want him to give up naps altogether. I feel like breastfeeding just to get him to nap is taking a huge step backwards, but I don’t know what else to do. If he doesn’t learn how to nap in his bed I’ll be screwed once the baby is born.

I wish I could remember where I read this rumor, but at some point early in this pregnancy I read that breasts don’t change as much during a second pregnancy. I was expecting that unlike my first pregnancy, when my breasts went from a perfectly reasonable 32 B to a shocking 38 D, I’d stay on the small side until close to the end.

This bit of information wasn’t something that really consumed me, although I think I may have been slightly disappointed that I wouldn’t have the fabulous cleavage to draw attention away from my belly since I’d also read that women start to show more quickly in second pregnancies.

Yes I started to show much more quickly this pregnancy. I was showing at 10 weeks pretty obviously if I wasn’t wearing a baggy sweater to disguise the baby bump whereas with Sam I didn’t show until 16 weeks and even then I was just barely showing. Here’s a picture of the belly. On the left is me at 16 weeks the first time around. On the right is me at 12 weeks this pregnancy. (please excuse the filthy mirror)

With Sam, my breasts got bigger way before my belly. I needed to buy new bras weeks before I needed maternity clothes. But now, just over 16 weeks pregnant, my breasts have finally caught up to my belly. They are large (yippee for fabulous cleavage!), heavy, and sore. I’m not so fond of the sore. They’re sore pretty much all the time, whether I’m chasing Sam or sitting still. They’re also tingly, like I’m experience let down when I’m actually not. Sam is still nursing sporadically- twice yesterday, once the day before- and the tingly feeling doesn’t actually occur when he nurses. It’s like phantom letdown at random intervals throughout the day.

It’s still painful when Sam nurses, though not nearly as painful as it was during the first trimester. It hurts when he latches and I often have to make him readjust his latch, but it doesn’t hurt through the nursing sessions. It also helps that the sessions have been lasting no more than a few minutes lately. I don’t know that I could take much more. I really thought that pregnancy would be my big incentive to wean. But so far it’s just another minor inconvenience. It’s not nearly as bad as I thought.

Bryan’s wife Sarah is being induced today. Good luck with a smooth delivery!

This is in no way groundbreaking research but yet another study, this time published in Pediatrics, says that the way to raise children who like fruits and vegetables is to eat them yourself while pregnant and nursing to pass on the preference.

Repeated exposure to fruits and vegetables in infancy is key, said study senior author Julie Mennella, a biopsychologist and member of the Monell Chemical Senses Center in Philadelphia. “They need to taste them to learn to like them.”

Mennella’s advice: “Eat the fruits and vegetables you enjoy while you are pregnant and lactating, because your baby is going to be learning about those foods. Whether you are breast-feeding or formula-feeding, once you start introducing a food, make sure you offer your baby opportunities to eat fruits and vegetables. They need to taste them to learn to like them.”

From my limited personal experience I have to say this is true. Sam loves fruits and veggies and won’t touch cows milk, a beverage I won’t drink either unless it’s disguised by espresso and sugar. Yesterday the freak picked all of the broccoli off of his pizza, ate it, and left the pizza itself untouched. He did ignore all of the tomatoes and I’m not a fan of tomatoes either. He’s a chip off of the old block. I worry about my second child. One of the unfortunate effects of this pregnancy is that I’m suffering a serious aversion to fruits and veggies. I hope my taste for them comes back soon. A prenatal vitamin probably won’t help much for a future of picky eating.

(I’m double posting this at Kids Dish.)