Nursing Your Kids

Five things I hate about nursing a toddler

1. biting
2. pinching
3. hitting
4. scratching
5. did I mention the biting?

We review the rules each time he asks to nurse but even so I end up unceremoniously dumping him off of my lap. It’s no fun at all.

The site was down yesterday, so if you missed it I briefly posted about Sophie Currier winning her appeal and Australia making it illegal to ban breastfeeding in public places.

The Sydney Morning Herald reports that Australia’s state government is introducing legislation to make bans on public breastfeeding illegal. Afraid that many women were stopping breastfeeding because of fear of discrimination, the law will make bans on breastfeeding in public places like trains, busses and the workplace non-existent.

Sophie Currier won her appeal and will be given an extra 60 minutes to pump during her exam time. The Boston Herald’s headline is, appropriately, Mother pumps out a victory. Congratulations, Sophie and Lea!

A bunch of creepy weirdos are stealing people’s photos of their children from Flickr and posting them on Orkut, a social networking site. The thieves are setting up fake accounts for the children so other weird lonely people can add them to their friends. Many of the pictures being stolen are copyrighted so the thieves can’t download them. Instead they’re taking screenshots and saving them to their computers and uploading them to Orkut.

You can read more about the thefts and the ick-factor of it all from mothers who learned their children’s photos were used here and here. You need to be an Orkut member to see profiles, but here’s one of the actual fake profiles featuring someone’s little girl.

Orkut, owned by Google, has not responded to any complaints about the picture thieves and fake profiles even though their user policy says you must be 18 years old to create a profile. If you’re outraged or sickened like I am, please go here and see how you can help. If you are a member of Digg please Digg this story so it gets the attention it deserves. And here’s a petition to shut down Orkut, a site that refuses to help parents who demand their children’s pictures be removed.

This makes me sick. I’ve just privatized my more than 2000 photos on Flickr. I suggest that you do too.

While I know in theory I’m not the only woman still nursing a toddler it was wonderful to see a mom nursing her two year old at the playground this morning. Wonderful because I’m relieved Sam no longer wants to nurse in public, and wonderful because it’s so nice to know I’m not alone.

I’m not much of a joiner but I’m starting to think I should maybe attend a few La Leche League meetings.

Mama Knows Breast: a Beginner’s Guide to Breastfeeding is a succinct, one-handed read full of well-organized facts and advice about breastfeeding. In other words, Andi Silverman’s book is ideal for a new mom trying to get the hang of breastfeeding with a day old infant attached to her breast 20 out of 24 hours a day.

Starting with the pros and cons, the chapters cover basic breastfeeding instructions, a question and answer section, breastfeeding etiquette, sex, getting help from your spouse, pumping, and weaning. Each chapter has several “From the Mouths of Mom’s” inset boxes where moms share their experiences.

Silverman’s tone is light and engaging. She’s realistic about breastfeeding and doesn’t portray it as all sunshine and roses. She offers solid advice about the little things that most breastfeeding books don’t address, like repacking your diaper bag every night and how well chosen accessories can disguise the fact that you’ve been wearing the same jeans for days. The breastfeeding etiquette chapter, especially the hilarious, Mad Magazine like “Responding to Critics” section, is a must-read for new moms who are justifiably nervous about nursing in public.

The book does have its flaws. While I appreciate that Silverman doesn’t equate formula with poison (as one off-putting breastfeeding book I unfortunately read during the week I had to supplement with formula in a dropper does), I was a bit surprised that she says formula feeding is “a viable alternative” to breastfeeding. Breast is best, and Mama Knows Breast is a book about breastfeeding, not about why formula’s not that bad. The nursing multiples section is lacking and I wish the weaning section were more informative. A number of topics are covered in a single paragraph, which would have frustrated me when I was struggling the first few months and looking for concrete advice. I was also slightly alarmed when Silverman briefly mentioned the idea of sleep training a three month old.

Mama Knows Breast has an index, a comprehensive listing of online resources, and a list of more instructional breastfeeding books. Most importantly I genuinely enjoyed reading Silverman’s candid and humorous beginner’s guide. Mama Knows Breast is destined to become my standard “off the registry” shower gift for first time moms.

Read more about the book and the author at Mama Knows Breast: Adventures in Breastfeeding.

Mama Knows Breast: A Beginner’s Guide to Breastfeeding, breastfeeding books, book reviews

When I initially wrote about Carolynn Prior’s experience with the YMCA and the Ontario Human Rights Commission I was unable to find any actual news articles about the incident where she was rudely told that nursing her baby while watching her two children take swimming lessons was obscene. The Toronto Star now reports that the YMCA staff members who asked her to stop erred in their judgment.

“We are a breastfeeding-friendly and a family-friendly organization. That is not our practice. We are taking this very seriously.”

Heipel [vice-president of communications of the YMCA of Greater Toronto] said an email was sent out to all staff on Monday reminding them that no one should interfere with any woman nursing her child on YMCA premises. He said employees were told that if a member complains about someone breastfeeding, the onus is on staff to address that person’s discomfort, and not the nursing mother’s actions.

Let’s hope Prior receives the written apology she deserves.

And for the record, about yesterday’s post, I think that yes, Sophie Currier losing her case is discrimination. There are ways to provide her time to pump without putting the rest of the exam takers at a disadvantage. She’s pumping breastmilk, not cheating.

Associated Press reports that Sophie Currier was denied the extra time requested for her medical exams by a Superior Court Judge.

A Superior Court judge today ruled Sophie Currier would have to take the exam during the time allotted.

A statement from her lawyers says they’re filing an appeal with a single justice to the Appeals Court.

Currier says that if she doesn’t nurse her daughter or pump breast milk every two to three hours, she risks medical complications.

Norfolk Superior Court Judge Patrick Brady says Currier has other options, including delaying when she takes the exam.

But Currier says the judge’s conclusion that there’s no harm in a woman putting her career off for a year is the basis of discrimination.

I’m imagining the important exams I’ve taken in my adult life. To become a teacher I took a series of expensive exams. I wonder if I would have been able to pass all of them if I was engorged and leaking over my desk. I wonder if I would have been able to pass if I was running a hands-free electric double pump while analyzing literature.

What do you think? Is this discrimination? Or should she have to follow the rules like everyone else, breastfeeding or not. She’s already been given other accommodations and flunked the test once. Is breastfeeding so important she should get extra time?

Tanya at the Motherhood breastfeeding blog has an interesting post about nursing rooms where she lists the pros and cons. When Sam was an infant and nursed discretely I didn’t mind nursing him in most places, but as he got older and squirmier and distractable I really appreciated the rooms away from the crowds with comfy chairs and some privacy. Head on over and share your thoughts

What I’ve learned in the past 18 months is that nothing stays the same for long with this kid. He goes through stages where he sleeps, stages where he doesn’t, stages where eat eats and stages where he won’t. After several months of thinking we were actually getting somewhere with the weaning process, he’s been nursing just about every day for the past week and a half.

Aside from the fact that it often hurts because I have to grab his flailing fists and pinching fingers I don’t mind too much. I know it won’t last forever and that he will, at some point, wean. I love looking down and his sweet face, especially when he looks up at me, his mouth full, and smiles.

Mamamojo really gets it right with her post Breastfeeding in Public (warning: offensive content)

You may not want to click through to her post if you’re at work since those breastfeeding images are *really* offensive, but here’s an abbreviated version so you can get the gist.

Totally offensive:

Not at all offensive:

An Ontario YMCA repeatedly harrassed a woman who had the gall to *gasp* nurse her child poolside during her daughter’s swimming lesson. Yes, the YMCA, an organization that promotes family, told a mother who was feeding her child that she had to move because the YMCA is a “family-oriented” place.

Carolynn contacted The Ontario Human Rights Commission to file a complaint. The OHRC’s webpage says

You have rights as a nursing mother. For example, you have the right to breastfeed a child in a public area. No one should prevent you from nursing your child simply because you are in a public area. They should not ask you to “cover up”, disturb you, or ask you to move to another area that is more “discreet”

yet Carolynn was told by an employee that there was no violation, and that breastfeeding in public isn’t appropriate everywhere.

Carolynn is documenting her experience at her Mothernurture blog.

link via the Twinkies

Ontario Human Rights Commission, discrimination, nursing in public, breastfeeding

Yesterday morning when Sam woke up at 6.30, a full hour before he’s been waking, I decided to try something I’d given up on months ago: bringing him into bed with us. He was content to cuddle for about a minute and a half before he sat up, and started pulling the blankets down and my shirt up. He didn’t have much luck and he started to cry and make the sign for milk. I sighed, lifted my shirt and tried to get comfortable.

Two hours later, after drifting in and out of a shallow sleep, I fully awoke to Sam’s mouth clamped firmly around my nipple. It hurt as badly as it did those first few weeks. I’m sure the monster nursing session exacerbated the fact that somewhere in the night he lost his latch and just grabbed onto whatever he could. And what he got wasn’t nearly as much as she should have.

I am now officially declaring a moratorium on morning snuggles until he’s fully weaned.

Happy 5768! May you be inscribed and sealed for a good year.

Read more about Rosh Hashanah at Judaism 101.

Facebook has joined Myspace in banning pictures of babies nursing. Nudity violates their terms of service so they’ve been pulling all pictures of breastfeeding where the breast is exposed.

I think this is pretty much ridiculous. I only joined Facebook a few weeks ago and haven’t really networked yet, but based on my experience on other social networking sites you’ll see more titty on some 16-year-old’s bikini shot than on a picture of a mother feeding her baby. I’ve seen profile pictures of half naked, underage girls taking bong hits and drinking beers which really makes one wonder about “terms of service.” My husband’s little cousin’s best friend actually has a video clip of people doing it on her Myspace page. Doing it!! How is breastfeeding obscene when I’m confronted with humping coupled with terrible top 40 rap songs? How is feeding a child obscene when I’m accosted by girls asses hanging out of their skanky little shorts while they’re open mouth kissing each other?

Getting back to Facebook, some women are complaining that they’ve pulled pictures where no breast is visible, which calls their motives into question. Other people whose pictures have been pulled have been banned from the site altogether and told they cannot rejoin.

Laws vary state to state, but companies cannot discriminate against breastfeeding mothers. This smacks of discrimination. Facebook may soon find themselves in trouble.

facebook bans breastfeeding photos, breastfeeding, obscenity, myspace, discrimination against breastfeeding women

The New York Times reports that one test stands between Sophie Currier and her Harvard medical degree. The problem? Currier is nursing her four month old daughter and needs time to pump during her nine hour board exam that allows only 45 minutes of break time.

The board initially denied her request, saying they can only accommodate conditions covered under the Americans With Disabilities Act. They told Currier that she’d be able to pump during breaks in another testing room. Test rooms are monitored and have glass walls. I don’t know about you, but pumping is hard enough without being in a monitored glass room. With the pressure to pump an adequate amount in a short period of time I’d certainly have some difficulty with let down.

Breastfeeding is not a disability, but it’s a circumstance that requires many accommodations, especially when the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends babies nurse exclusively for the first six months of life. Aside from the baby’s well-being, Currier runs the risk of becoming painfully engorged and possibly getting mastitis if she’s unable to pump at least twice during the two nine-hour test sessions. I had mastitis at least three times in the first year of Sam’s life. It’s not fun.

I really feel for Currier. If the court rules against her she’s basically screwed. How on earth will she be able to eat, use the bathroom and pump in the short time provided? How will she be able to concentrate on her board exam as her she begins to painfully swell beneath her shirt as the testing day progresses? I’m curious to see how this one turns out. Massachusetts is one of the states that does not protect a woman’s right to nurse. Let’s hope they protect this woman’s rights.

breastfeeding, right to pump, Massachusetts breastfeeding laws, pumping rooms

If Currier’s request is granted, this could be a huge victory for women’s rights.